Slice And Dice

Currently, I am struggling to grasp a certain concept and have decided I need the input of other powerhouse brains. Indulge me for a minute or two........

       To explain my current state of question, I must first admit I did something quite out of the ordinary for me. First of all, I watched TV. Second, I watched bad Reality TV. Since I'm so out of the loop of mainstream television, I have no idea if this is an embarrassing admission or not, but here goes, I watched two rerun episodes of The Swan.

       Thats right, I gave up two precious hours, sitting mouth agape, trying to understand the basic, 'what the f***" questions this program kick started in my mind. (For those who may possibly be as clueless as I was about this program, in a nosejob, it's women who sign up to be cosmetically enhanced, redesigned, spliced and diced, in the effort to win some pageant at the end of the series, *cough*, I mean, better their lives by surgical reproduction)

Heres what my mind can wrap around:
~ intake the 411
~ get jiggy with the possibilities.

No one is opposed to looking better in life.
Got it, I'll get in that line.
Everyone could use alittle refresher in both appearance and attitude sometimes.
I'm down with that.
I'm not even opposed to cosmetic surgery should one choose that route on something they don't exactly appreciate about themselves.
To each their own in my humble opinion.
I do believe dressing in nice clothing makes anyone walk alittle prouder.
It's hard to feel glorious in baggy sweatpants, no matter the occasion.
A simple or regular makeover would put a smile on anyone, I'd like to think.
The same person would still be smiling on this inside, just a bit brighter.

I know a person who takes care of themselves physically <simple walks, jaunts outside can perform miracles> it cleans and clears the mind.

Here's what my mind can't wrap around:
~Rejecting the implications
~Revolting the notions
~My personal naive moment?

     

       Here's what I saw, before the makeovers. Woman, who did nothing with their hair, no makeup, wearing the most unflattering outfits possible (intentional by the producers)?  They were portrayed as dowdy, simple, and as unflattering as possible. Their personal
....." flaws " .......were pronounced as much as possible. For example, a nose that was in their opinion to large, or teeth that weren't white enough, or boobs that were tiny or sagged and on and on.........with the camera zooming in on them to really drive the point of their alleged imperfections. 

        I listened to the stories of these various woman and one reoccurring theme was present in them all. They were teased as children, about their nose, or their lips, or their chests, or their pinkie finger.....take your pick. Evidently, because of these childhood scars, teasing, personal insecurities, etc., they have let their lives dive down a spiral of shame and embarrassments. The women were miserable. The women were convinced they were ugly etc...the woman were also convinced they had low lowww self esteem (I should state that I hate, dislike, and completely disagree with current mainstream views on the self esteem movement) ..... As I listened to one girl explain, that when she was little the kids would tease her about the nose she hated so, and that all she wanted was to feel good about herself again, I thought, well that makes sense. But.............

       But, here's my confusion. I do not understand why, oh why, do people allow things like old teasing, childhood remarks, or perceptions one believes others had/have of them to drain them out, depress them out, haunt them, dictate their choices and mental states of mind, beyond the age of 20 <?>

       Simply put, why in the world does anyone ever, give another person that much power within and over their thoughts and image?

       I was not immune to teasing, who was? I could list a quick 10 things that I endured growing up that fell into the horrendous zone. I remember crying about it. I remember the hurt from it. I'd love for anyone to state they escaped childhood without some sort of hurtful teasing. But there came a time, in my mind, my world, when I realized those people were full of shit, or if they were right, why should I care, I don't even remember their names. There came a time when I realized I gave far to much power to other peoples perspective, or opinion.

       I guess, I just sit here tonight and think, why would anyone want to wallow in the opinions 10 year olds dished out? Why would anyone look in a mirror and think, "Yep, that nose is still as large as Shithead chanted in my ear 15 years ago" and actually give it merit? Does not compute.

       Of the four woman I watched being sliced and diced, I can honestly say, they didn't need it, not physically, not in the way that show butchered them into unrecognizable plastic babes. To be brutal, I think a bottle of hairdye, an actual haircut, a touch of makeup, some Crest whitestrips, ditching the sweats and tennis shoes for jeans and black boots would have done a bang up job, on all of them, without the knife. But then, I guess if they couldn't see the natural beauty I saw in all of them before they got sliced and diced, I suppose..........it's a mute point. Beauty, is such an abstract preference......

       My main shock and awe, still comes back to why in the world does, would, anyone allow teasing from childhood, set a tone in concrete, set an image, that brings tears to their eye's 10,15,20 years after the fact? Why would anyone give that much negative staying power to a shadow of a 10 year old that doesn't even remember your name................

Psst. If your one of those people, who reads this journal, who still cringes over past comments someone made of you....I'm telling you right now, take a deep breath, take one final moment to see if you can even remember their name and say, "Fuck Off, I gave you far too much power for far too long" and then smile, take back all your power, and then tell me to fuck off for telling you what to do :o)

~Pardon Thy French~