I noticed this morning that it was December 7th, 2006. Time has flown by since I last posted here. I've been AOL journal MIA~~
Quick calculations enlightened me that I have precisely 19 days, including today, since I may be able to squeak something productive out yet, until Christmas morning arrives in my little homestead.
This may have no wow factor to the majority of the population that already have their Santa hats on, but to me it means oh shite, time to muster up some festive spirit and get a flying reindeer move on things.
Now, I haven't been oblivious to the impending holiday. I've witnessed the all out spectacle the neighbors achieve with their glorious lightshows in my neighborhood. My home currently looks like a big black hole in the middle of the Las Vegas casino strip. Any day now I could receive a community vote of no confidence and the little neighborhood elves will run power cords from their own homes to lights they have secretly strung around my yard. Trust me, I know these people, it could happen.
I've even attempted a couple of out of home, out of body adventures in Christmas shopping. Ho Hum, even shopping couldn't kick start my festive mood. I paused in one store, closed my eye's and tried to allow the Mannheim Steamroll some music spirit into my bloodstream. Nope, nadda, I checked my pulse and everything was still flowing in the same manner as two months ago.
I'm starting to think old Scrooge and Mr. Grinch were simply misunderstood souls. I'm not really muttering Bah humbug under my breath, I don't denounce the holiday really, but for me, over the years that Christmas 'spirit' changed within me and I'm having a difficult time recapturing the magical part of it.
What's magical about giving one of your daughters a new IPOD just because it's the only thing she can think of? The 'spirit' factor got misplaced somewhere along the lines of time in me. I certainly don't blame my daughters for their requests. Ask a child what they would really really like, you'll get an honest answer. Nothing wrong with that. I know my daughters well enough that they never ask or expect anything in the way of material items. Christmas is just the bonus exception to the family motto.
The fact I've designed a non-religious family creed makes this holiday a bit tricky. If you don't work in the religious capacity for "the reason for the season," you're left with, I love you, I want to give you something to show it. Well, the entire "I love you, I want to show it by giving you something" does not even come close to the way I've raised my daughters and how I function. Back to square one.
I know how the magic of this season can seep into my spirit. I've felt it in Christmas pasts...... Some of the best Christmas moments of my past are when I had no money whatsoever. The focus of the season wasn't on what I could buy for others, but what I could do, even in the smallest gesture, to let others know I loved them. My Christmas past shows me laying on a couch, with my head resting in the special shoulder nook of the man I loved, watching Christmas lights, was far more important that what he gave me. I wish I could have bottled up those emotions and stashed them with the Christmas decorations in the attic. Each year simply taking a whiff of those old feelings would do the trick.
Maybe thats why the mistletoe hasn't smacked me on the lips of festive moods. I've segregated myself from so much this year, people, family, friends, real life and assumed the role of hermit/troll crouched in a solitary stance, that to really enjoy this season, one must be surrounded by others. Christmas isn't tailored for the solitary confinement souls. My current non-excitement in Christmas, isn't due to stress, nor worry, nor obligations, it's the undefinable indifference thats getting me~~
I think today I give myself a goal, a boost, a reindeer hoof kick to the arse. I will force myself to purchase a nice smelly pine tree today. I will brave the cold attic and drag boxes of decorations down to festivize my homestead. I will crank some Little Drummer boy music on and dance around the home in a Santa hat. Fake it till ya feel it right?
I've noticed if I ask 10 people what Christmas means to them, I'll receive 10 different reasons for the season that all encompass the basics. Perhaps, as I've gotten older, those reasons continue to change for me and this year, I'm struggling to embrace mypersonal definitions. But damned if the quiet truth doesn't continue to chant in my thoughts, it's all about love towards others.......isn't it?
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About Me
- ~Rebecca Anne~
- ~Word Smithing of the Eclectic Nature~
Design by: FinalSense
19 comments:
Like you Rebecca I am supremely indifferent to the religious side of Christmas, but I do love celebrating it as a family occasion, a chance to spend time with the kids and the hubby and just be thankful for each other. I hate shopping for Christmas, well for anything really and I hate writing Christmas cards - it is hard to be original in those!
Kate.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/bobandkate/AnAnalysisofLife/
It's all about love, and giving to others. That's what it's always meant to me.
Oh since the kids are out of the house and I go visit for holidays, I don't decorate my house anymore...and you know what...I don't feel quilty about it either. I had over forty years of decorating for holidays, about decorated out. Next generations turn. Rebecca just bear with it until the kids are grown...Happy holidays...Sandi
::grinning:: Perhaps I'm the wrong person to comment about this time of year.
It seems the older I get, the harder it is to get in the "mood" for the holidays. Maybe it's because the kids are all grown, the "magic" is gone.
~~Kath~~
I'm usually just glad to reach January 2nd and have all of this overhype over and done with.
Rebecca, I don't believe I read in the book "How to Celebrate Christmas" anything other than showing love to others. I definately agree with you. I have had years when I did all of my Christmas shopping on Christmas eve; after all, I am a guy. I seem to find some really good sales on Christmas eve, and found that it fills me with the spirit.
This year, I had my outdoor lights up during the warmer weather of October (I did not plug them in until Thanksgiving) and most of my shopping is finished. I am now wondering "what should I do the rest of the month, drink eggnog?"
Smiles, David
I think it's hard to have Christmas for one. Mistletoe, presents, etc. at least require two people. I know since I have been on my own it's kind of by myself. However this year with more people in my life and thinking of them it puts me more in a festive mood or it could just be the elf hat I wear at work. If all else fails blankets for the homeless or volunteering someplace that really needs it will help jump start those holiday feelings. ~ Mike
Yes, it is... At least, it should be. I hope the spirit finds you, in unexpected ways ~ whether you believe in Jesus or simply believe in love. Best wishes for a holiday full of smiles and warmth for you and your girls.
Hugs,
Michelle
Nowadays Christmas has become more commecialized with the stores skipping over Thanksgiving all together and sticking up Christmas decorations after Halloween. That isn't what it is really about though is it? When I was raised durning Christmas, it was more like tradition. Giving gifts and spending time with your family. Eventually both of my parents found religions with different and unique beliefs so Christmas became less and less important to me.
Yes, Virginia, it's all about love. - Barbara
I have had my tree up since the day after Thanksgiving. No, not because I'm so merry, but because I knew that would be the only time my whole family would be home together until Christmas day. I too am having a problem locating my Christmas spirit. I am faking it quite well, but the truth is, I'm simply not feeling it. I'm not sure if it's because I'm choosing to do the majority of my shopping online this year and avoiding the chaos of the malls. Perhaps it's because I can't really feel the spirit of giving unless I'm hearing the ring-a-ling of the Salvation Army's cry for help. Maybe it's the fact that I live in the south and other than a freak of nature that gave us almost a foot of snow last week, I don't really have a white Christmas anymore. I thought it was just me until I read your entry, but as I was reading it, I thought about ways that you could get into the mood for boughs of holly and all that jazz and don't you know I felt something from deep within stir. Could this be a sparkle of Christmas spirit in me. Will I suddenly find the urge to rush to a Wal-Mart or Toys R Us, and spend hundreds of dollars on toys my children will use for 12 hours and then leave it haphazardly on the floor for me to step on? No...wait...it was just gas. My mistake. I do know how you're feeling and I hope that we can both find the magic within this holiday season.
Cat
I've had the 'ol magic carpet pulled from beneath me a couple of years ago at Christmas and have yet to truly find that magic again. I know it's there, and I hope some Christmas in the future, I will find it again. For now, I'm numb to the whole idea of Christmas, even Thanksgiving has found it's way out of my life for the time being. I hope you find some Christmas spirit this season. I do believe it's easier when your kids are younger.
http://boiseladie.blogspot.com/
Ah we haven't drifted tooo far from kindred thoughts...
Being raised Catholic and having my own issues....and then to be a parent...and this and that...
THe season for me and then incorporated into our lives? The season...
It is not just a day of religion, although I have that imprint within me, I do believe inside of me is what I was given. Whether it was instilled via church or my parents religious beliefs....It all still works, even if I chose to walk away from them years ago.
Raising children within this, and my own seperate belief(if that word still "works") and instilling in them to be their own person and do so with respect to themselves and to others.
It is NOT the gifts....I look at it, as being MORE aware durig the season. A season which humbles the hardened soul. To take that ime more so, during the cold wintry months to less fortunate and to not hold ill against anyone with more. For it is there if it is wanted truly. TO take the small amount of time to offer a hand or even a smile.
To give a small piece back into the world.
To Celebrate the day, as a time to be with family, friends or even, those we dont call friend but could.
Maybe as a day of assignment? That is set aside to be with those we love, and to have nothing on the agenda but them?
A gathering of hearts.
And yes we exchange gifts, and I can only hope that it is done not out of obligation but of want to give a memento of that heart.
Hmmmm
LOts of babbling on my end here....
Peace Rebecca
Love,
Jodi
I was just thinking that what I dislike about Christmas is when the decorating, the buying of presents, the making of goodies etc. gets so extensive all the thinking stops. I always think it is dangerous when the thinking stops. For that reason I initiated givng books in our family years ago. I don't give any gift to the older ones but books. I collect books from thrift stores the year around. Our Christmas day has become a virtual feast of book giving. My niece who lives in San Francisco, always comes with her husband and children, and she collects books to give every person. She told me she read 200 books last year, despite her busy schedule. She has introduced me to some real treasures over the years. Sometimes she and I have decided to give the same book to one of my sons. On a trip with Doc to the art supply store, I found a wonderful art book of drawings of the Grand Canyon for my oldest son Gary whose hobby is painting. He has special ties to the Grand Canyon. I knew I had the Christmas spirit when I saw that irresistible gift. The most fun I have is trying to pick out a book I think the recipient will really like which will promote thinking not stop it! Promote discussions. Poetry, history, art books, great novels---
Love of others, and the Love they give you....and that's love with a 'big-L'. And I suggest the Christmas album put out by the Barenaked Ladies.
Hysterical :)
Charley
http://journals.aol.com/cdittric77/courage
Hi Rebecca! Being Jewish, my family excluded Christmas from its premises. Not purposely, mind you. That was just the way it was. But...I must tell you, Christmas pushed its way into my mind, as I listened to the Christmas songs and sang them, too; as I heard the Salvation Bells being rung on the steet corners, and as I saw the glimmering colored lights of Christmas trees brightening up our street. I always get the best feeling in my heart when Christmas is on its way. I love it for its great customs and especially the Carolers who used to sing outside our door on snowy nights. I may have felt left out....but I was always included by those in a town that was ninety-nine per cent Christian. May we always have Christmas; I love it.
PS Even though a Santa Clause on a street corner gave me a balloon with a hole in it. IKOWSKY
Yes, it really is:) I can understand the feeling of indifference in ones life, and the need to reindeer-hoof kick oneself out of THAT, at any time of year. Things DO get so commercial. It would be nice to just open back up a box of memories to infuse our souls:) Try to feel the love, perhaps, cuz yes, that really is what it's all about, IMHO, too. Whether or not we have trees and wreaths and expensive gifts cuz that's not what matters, is it? -- Robin
Christmas stops being fun once your an adult,lol...Its surreal because we can look back and it feels warm if we had good memories...that is my motivator because life is hard as hell...I do not want my kids to know that but they will...If these memories can offer them a moment of escape, a fond tear of reflection during the hard times, I string up the lights, sing the songs, watch the old traditional movies that dull me to pieces now and realize, it will be a treasure for them during the hard times....
~Raven
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