Because I Can

       So I'm here again, a real banner week in the quantity count of entries. I realized my desire to escape here is in direct proportion to the amount of other writing I've been up too. Ya know, the writing that has the desire to be published prior to death if I'm lucky. The more I write over there in Microsoft word, the more I find minuscule excuses to defect from it.

       This is a real contradiction of priorities I face every day. All I want to do is write, which I do <journals, handwritten snail mail, handwritten journals, notebooks, book> , yet in the same stroke of the keyboard, I'm looking for every excuse I can find to avoid the writing that I should be doing. Now, I've gone and read the 'advice on writing' books several well known authors have graced us wannabe's with. Because what's better then actual writing? Reading how to do it <insert implied sarcasm please>

       What snakes around my neck like a noose is the schedules these people claim to maintain. So I wonder, does it just look good on paper to say they wake up each and every morning at 5:00 a.m., write for 2 hours, take Fido for a mind cleansing walk for 7 miles (each way), then return, eat breakfast, review notes, do a strict 30 minutes of business correspondence, then write until 3:00 p.m. Is anyone really that damn disciplined? I really need to find an author who comes clean, coughs up and writes something along the lines of  -this is my life as a writer called The Real <really> Deal. -

       In it I would expect to discover a parallel universe, soul searing kinship of the writing sister/brotherhood. I can't be the only person born with a serious addiction of writing who exhibit's one or more of the following routine downfalls:

1) If I can ekk out one single extra spare second in the morning worth of sleep I will do so gratefully and gracefully <hiding under the covers, hitting snooze 4, 5, 10 times in a row> 5:00 a.m. is a time I've heard of, I understand the dials on the clock spin past it's terrifying implications, but I have no desire to find out what 5:00 a.m. writing feels like.

2) After performing an exhausting relay race with the snooze button on the alarm clock, it takesatleast 2 full cups of pure caffeine jolt to pry my wicked heavy eyes open. Until the full impact of caffeine has seeped into each capillary of my body, no plausible thought, speech, or coherent writing can be experienced. Intense wall gazing can be observed at this time.

3) Push power button on laptop

4) More wall gazing while casually sipping 3rd cup of liquid inspiration. Turn on Bose stereo system with various artists singing for my current mood.

5) Open Microsoft Word. Reread prior days writing, fidget aimlessly, attempt to ignore the welcoming beacon of AOL icon distraction.......fail, click on AOL icon

6) Journal surf, favorite web site surf, waiting for a wave of conscious to wash me off my surf board straight back to Microsoft Word........whooosssssshhhhhhhhh back to work.

7) Write, write, write. Review, delete, correct, rewrite, reread. Progress made, one paragraph. It's all good in the alternate universe. Drink Diet Coke for extra caffeine boost.

8) Time goes VERY slowly in the alternate universe. It drags like a snail crossing a highway. Just once, I would love a day were I've written and written and oppss, discover 4 hours has passed. forrrggetttabbouuutttiiitttttttt...............

9) Go outside, throw ball for dogs, promise them a 1 mile <round trip> walk later on when all hope of words has fallen under a ton of mind bricks.

10) Return to computer, write some more on said book, become overcome with the need to defect again, go write entry in journal about absolutely nothing of importance.

Feel Better, go back to the jail of possibilities.
Bye.