A Pit Stop

       Since I am basking in a two day reprieve at home, I thought it was finally time to eradicate my previous entry, and replace it with something, anything, that doesn't reek of forlorn and misery. It was careless and rude of me to leave such parting words when I wasn't going to be around to follow up. I apologize to those whom I worried.

       The facts. This has been a very strange year for me. Unlike any I've ever waded through before. Starting with a surgery in January that knocked me for a loop. Another medical issue in March that essentially pushed both my mind and my well being over the edge of reasonable control. What I now view as reactive instinct, I took off. Literately. As soon as I was well enough to board a plane or drive a car I was gone.

       Things are kind of blurred together now, but I know I have been in Washington, Oregon, California, Mexico, Utah, Montana, Wyoming, Nebraska, Yellowstone National Park, and through a few of those places more then once and of course around Idaho. The longest stretch I've been home since the end of last March was I believe 5 whole days during July, which killed me. During those days I felt like a trapped bird.

       I haven't worked <my real job> I haven't wrote <my book workings> I haven't participated in a single responsible thing this year. For the analytical curious types, I assure, I never won the lottery, but I am self employed, made enough $ in 2005 to tide me over for an extended time, throw in some residual income I have each month and it's a deliberate recipe for the freedoms I create. Maybe thats too much information, but it's a scenario I dreamed about many years ago, and it's finally come to a point where I can up and leave in a days notice and travel far and wide for as long as I wish. It took work, and thought, and I'm actually proud of the opportunities I built for myself.

       During my travels I've had an abundance of thinking time. I've had beautiful days, and downright shitty days. I've had plain old ordinary days and days words can't describe because they were so divine. I've mended some broken thoughts in my mind and cleared some issues that have plagued me for more time that I wish to admit.

       A turning point cameright after my previous entry <now deleted> A trip to Montana that both soothed my soul and mended the frayed edges of my mind. The things I wrote of, the things I needed to do, I did. Piece by piece I stacked myself back up, settled my internal compass and have found myself back on track, finally. That trip, I hold selfishly for myself...........

       Since my trip to Montana I've spent time hunting, thats right, I do more then just fly fish. If you're a member of P. E. T. A.  I would suggest skipping this next segment. First I spent a lot of time on the desert Antelope hunting. It was a successful hunt for me and I enjoyed the solitude and stationary stance that type of hunting provided. Next, I went to Nebraska for Antelope, an unsuccessful hunt that got changed quickly into an Elk hunt in Idaho.

       Until yesterday, I have been walking miles and miles everyday, standing on top ridges, climbing domineering mountains, watching the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets. Playing cat and mouse with amazing bull elk and soaking up every second my beautiful partner in life, nature, can provide. I had chances to take a bull, but I kept passing. I wanted more time, I wasn't ready to come home to city life, bad angles, excuses I came up with every time not to notch an arrow. It's all good. I get to go back for another week or so this month.

       Two things happened while I was hunting. Fresh from my trip to Yellowstone and all that I carried lightly with me, I found inner peace. I found my smile again, and I feel like my mind is finally clicking along like it used too. It wasn't until this last week that I realized sometime, a while ago, my mind had stopped thinking in it's imaginary tones.
      
       When I'm good, when I'm all right, my mind is a floating river of idea's and thoughts. Idea's for writing line up and march across my thoughts day in and day out. Like a person who wakes up one morning blind, my mind woke up many months ago devoid of creative notions and possibilities. While I was walking those mountains, moments kept creeping up where I would have killed for pen and paper. I hadn't realized that where I used to never go anywhere without my writing journal, I hadn't been carrying it withme since the beginning of the year. Now, I can't stop writing................I can see the words again!

       Tomorrow I leave again, Washington/Oregon, and I have other trips planned this month. I think, that around November sometime, it will be time to hibernate at home for a while. Until then, I'm off enjoying what life has to offer me right now..........

It's all good, It's all good~