Body Image and Possibilities.
At the encouragement of a few friends, I tuned in my TV to a show called Dr. 90210 this evening and well, it's got me thinking.
Body image and the woman's perspective on what we look like vs. what we REALLY look like, vs. what society wishes we looked like, vs. what we can potentially look like has me wondering just how bad is it really?
There is a body part I wish to change. I make no secret of this. It's a wish and a thought I've harbored since about the age of 15 when I realized I was far behind in the frontal growth race. Lacking a certain feminine trait isn't easy. To understand this, and to really know what this feels like, you would have to be one of the woman who can shop in the training section of a department store. If you've graduated past the training section, then I can assure you, saying 'having them is no big deal' or 'I wish I was smaller' or even 'you look fine the way you are' is no consolation. I assure you, I've heard them all and they still don't take me out of the training department or make me feel better.
The array of woman in the show this evening had me fascinated. One, was addicted to plastic surgery, needed a seemingly perfection. That one, looked plastic, looked fake and at the ripe age of 35 I thought she looked far older then me and my friends. She, in my humble opinion, looked horrid. A perfect example of too much of any one thing is a bad thing. <I have to mention, she was a porn star, or as she said so correctly, adult film star>
The next was a woman who was overweight, and felt uncomfortable in her skin. A weight issue she had battled since she was little. This one is rather difficult for me to give opinion or thought on. For me personally, I've never really had an issue with weight, and at times when I've felt my personal weight creep past the size of my jeans, I cut back and usually it comes off easily. I know this isn't the case for many woman. So for me to sit back and say, "Stop eating so much and exercise" is a bit like someone saying to me "Your chest is fine, you don't need out of the training department" An image opinion based on something neither woman can change easily, but something that bothers each woman independently and on it's own terms. Both are body concerns, just on seperate subjects.
The last person on the show, was a young female, 17 years old, going in for a breast augmentation. At first I recoiled at her age, and even questioned her Mothers choice to support her for such a surgery. But then, it sunk in, all the things she was saying. All things I've said to friends and my own Mother since I was a teen. I have no doubt that if I could go back to 17 and have such a surgery, I would do it in a heartbeat. Ouch................
I know that isn't what a person should say, or support, but I'm being honest here. I have no delusions about body image and that people should be happy with what they got. Love themselves from the inside out. Blah Blah Blah and all the politically correct things one should say. I'm good with all of that. I really am. I do like my body, I love my inner workings and at the age of 33 feel quite comfortable in my body, know how to work it and enhance the pluses and hide the negatives. I just wish, even to this day, every single time I try on a shirt, or head to the lingerie department, that I was given a bit more of one of the obvious attributes a woman is supposed to possess.
So I wonder, if given the guilt free bankroll, and the opportunity, just how many woman would sign up for a little tune up? Modification? Enhancement? Is it really so bad that things like that are hush hush talk, things to be denied and never spoken of? I'm not talking about the type of woman who goes in for a tune up every single year. Or the woman who is stripping at the local mens club and needs to maintain the body of a 18 year old. Playboy bunnies are out of this equation too. I might as well throw in porn stars and movie stars, they don't count on this journal entry.
I'm talking regular normal every day woman, mommies, wife's, ladies of the real world.
I know to admit one would do such a thing can instantly bring forth the thoughts that a person isn't happy, has no self esteem, and every other politely, emotionally unstable, correct question. But, our bodies are something we live with day in and day out and if something makes a person truly unhappy, and the opportunity to change it is there, should a person do it?
To modify something on a persons body, after careful consideration, or something that just makes a person unhappy, is this really a bad thing?
I know, it's a taboo topic, but I figure, why not bring it up ~ ~
This is what I get for actually watching TV~
18 comments:
I had a boob job in 1979. I was the first person as a teenager to have the biggest boobs in school. It brought much attention to me from the boys and the girls. I'm 54 yrs old now. after going through the 60's and 70's with no bra as the fashion in those days were for us hippies I began to really sag. I got a boob job and was abut the size I started out being a size D cup but after the surgery they stood up insead of looking like drooped fried eggs. I bought them with my father's inheritance money he left me which only cost $1,500.00 in 1979. I loved them then and I love them now. They still stand up and they are soft and feel great. I love the way my clothes fit in everything. About 10 yrs. ago I had an eye job to take my bags out and my droppy tired looking eye lids away. cost $1,500.00. I love that and it's the last surgery I will have but it's the best money I ever spent. I feel great and I like what I see. I love my weight. I eat healthy and exercise and am very happy in my skin and the person I am inside. I say if you want it fixed by all means fix it just know when to stop. I'm happy with my wrinkles and my aging. I had rather have wrinkles and a little skin on my neck than look like I'm plastic and my face not move. I love the surgery I had but I'm more interested in how I feel inside and the moments I'm spending with my Honey and the things we share. I like to dress modern and keep a modern hair cut, pretty nails and toes and pamper myself in those ways now. my interest are more in dancing, laughing and being at my ranch outdoors with my animals. The older I get the better it feels.
I am extreamly happy that I had plastic surgery! Lelly
Oh, I would have it for sure if I could easily afford it. I'd have a tummy tuck, to get rid of that "baby sag" and I added to that when I lost weight. I might also have an eyelift, as I have gotten older my upper eyelids are more droopy. I don't mind the wrinkles, every line is well deserved, I earned them!
~~Kath~~
PS Great entry
Oh geez, how I have to be all honest and such. If I had the money I would do it, after all it is hard to be Peter Pan with wrinkles and sags. When I look in the mirror I don't see the person I feel I am on the inside. The truth is I never expected to live to 40 and now that I am approaching 50 the adjustment is proving to be a difficult one.
I think having the option for plastic surgery is great and I would love to get a few nip and tucks here and there...it's just I'm too scared to have surgery...had it not been for the fear I'm sure I would have done something by now.
I have about five friends who have had boob jobs. When I was like 27 I wanted one too, though I really didn't need one but it was what everyone was doing. Then I watched how my sister-in-law (who got a boob job) destroy her marriage. (Guess she needed to test drive them with a new man) Anyway, I have seen some really good boob jobs and some really bad ones. My one friend who shopped in the training department had one done and they look great. And I know she is happy with them. I think the smaller you are initially the better they look and hold up. My friends who had boobs and lost themt o childbirth son't look so great now with new boobs. So my advice is shop around and do research if you ever decide to do it. I am very fortunate and happy with my breast-even after years of nursing! Yea Me! But when am 45 who is to say I won't go in for a tune up!
I say GO FOR IT! I have a friend who was in much the same 'dept' as you. She had the augmentation (which sounds much more classy than Implants) a few years ago, nearing her 40th birthday. She is quite happy with her choice. She can shop for bathing suits, bras and shirts without worrying whether they will fit her the way they were meant to fit.
Myself, I would, given a guilt-free card, have lipo on the backs of my thighs. No matter how much I exercise, nothing changes - maybe just a tuck would be sufficient, because the stretch marks can't be helping my plight.
I do believe alot more women would be doing what feels right if it didn't carry such a stigma.
Tammy
http://LifeLiveItOrMissOut.blogspot.com
Oh who hasn't thought of a little piece of perfection for themselves? I've actually thought about going in for a breast reduction. Maybe a few other things here and there. Whatever makes you happy. Yeah, just as long as one doesn't become addicted to it. That's crazy talk. Can you imagine the doctor bills?
Ari
If I may chime in here, as the first Y-chromosome-equipped person...
If you're doing it for yourself, I have no advice for you, except that I think that we all suffer from the tyrrany of the beauty culture - women moreso than men, but men do suffer from it to some degree. I've made the choice, for example, to not go through the dermabrasion/chemical peel route to remove my fairly bad acne scarring.
If you're doing it to enhance your attractiveness, then I will say this once more - Real Men look at a woman from the neck up first. They notice eyes and smiles. Real Men talk to you first. Real Men hang out with you first. Real Men see the whole package.
As a shy person, I don't have vast experience dating. And as a man in a crumbling marriage, I can't say that I have much recent... um... experience. But my ability to love a woman is not decreased by any perceived imperfections.
If you think you would be happier with a bigger northern front... then go for it.
I've always been heavy, and I'm happy with myself, despite being bombarded with weight loss ads telling me 'I can have the life I deserve'. Like if I weighed less I would be happier and do more.... I'm happy now :)
Weight/body appearance is all in the mind. It's how you feel about yourself. Changing/enhancing body parts, weight loss will not change a person's personality or circumstances. It may get you more attention and you may feel better about yourself, but it doesn't fix everything we convince ourselves it will....
Personally, I think you look great. But, as you said, it's not about me and my opinion. Having had big 'uns, I'd prefer mine to be smaller ;)
Great entry, Rebecca...
Cat
If I had the wherewithal and there was something I wanted to do, then I would do it. And I would admit to doing it. What I think is wrong is having something done to please someone else, or having something done and not admitting to it. This was a very interesting entry, and I like the way you expressed yourself.
Lori
Television, magazines, billboards, the people that are in control of these forms of media are responsible for what is considered "beautiful". Not to mention those clothing stores that have mostly size 2 in clothing. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, not in a needle.
I would begin with No it is not a bad thing. Yet I dont think, and I know from personal experiences, it will not change the real issues.
They still persist.
Fat, skinny, perfect nose, crooked...whatever still doesnt change what is inside. As much as we believe we can psyche ourselves out and think it will..it wont.
Does that mean if I had the disposable cash I still wouldnt? No, I can be just as vain as the next. Yet I know myself enough that it would have to be for me and NOT anyone or society.
I just saw this show with this girl who had like 20 plastic surgeries. Her before pics in my opinion? She was much prettier than she is now. I blame th docs. I mean how much is too much? They fed into her apparent internal issue and turned their back on her for money. Sickening.
And again, how we see ourselves is very much different than how others see us. So to her, the mirror revealed who she wanted to see. the changes were to her liking, what her perception of herself was...
shaking head
Peace
Jodi
Oh and another sidenote? The lovely blog atop your journal? Was for a free consultation to a plastic surgeon, liposuction, breast augmentation...sigh
If its making someones life a misery and i mean a misery then fair enough go do whatever you want to your own body , as always its a personal choice , what kinda upsets me is there are thousands of people out there scarred or damaged through no fault of thier own who would dearly love to be able to afford the surgery that so many have with no real medical or psychological need , again thats thier choice but many of these people dont have a choice , thier bank balance has already decided that for them or their postcode over here determines they cannot get the nhs funding they need to pay for surgery that is really a life changing thing for them .
In general if somethings eatng away at your confidence and genuinely affecting your life then go for it but sometimes its worthwhile to look towards counselling or talking over the reasons why it makes a person feel they need surgery , often it just takes retraining the way we think about ourselves rather than altering our actual physical appearance x
hmnn..what I really need is surgery on my inner feelings...tweak my brain/emotion a little bit....is there such a thing?
Gem :-)
Boy can I relate! When my oldest daughter was "developing" she used to pass her trainers on to me as she outgrew them. Then, when I gained weight I gained it around the rib cage and could no longer find cup sizes small enough to go with the circumfance! Then, when I finally got fat enough that my boobs HAD to grow, one got to be half again as large as the other - and when I needed a biopsy, guess which side it came out of? I always admired the Native African women I would sneak looks at in the National Geographic. The ones with huge pendulus breasts that hung down to their waists, flat, and that could be slung over their shoulder if the need should arise (like to nurse a baby strapped to the back). No worry about gravity, proper support, size differences, etc. Paulette
This is an intensely personal decision, one that is uniquely personal to the one doing the contemplating. But, for the love of beautiful boobs, I say... embrace lacy lingerie, seductive swimsuits, tight t-shirts, and desirable dresses! And while you're at it, SHAKE THAT MONEY MAKER!
A card carrying member of the cleavage club,
Judith
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