Before me, the signs enhance me. With a black dog at my feet and a burden of choices on my shoulders, I observe the playing field with conscious desire. Writing in poetic prose becomes my voice and the words my warriors. I am the captain and this is my score. Emotions on fire and trapped decisions on a lovers tongue.
The commercialism of it could cast a definitive best seller. Everyone prospers from the prophesy of misery. A triumph of human spirit, the industry of humanity, the ignorance of a person who wallows in the bayous of emotional knives. White doves and saying no, what becomes of the person who stands in concrete. All my ladies cheer with conviction and the fella's cloak their faces in black robes of hypocrisy. My color wheel is off balance, I'm a once a year clearance sell, voice crackling with the harmony of explosive behaviors. Cowering is something I never dreamed I would be capable of. Shame in a life as a hypocrite is enough to silence any play on the fight.
Cannot name that which troubles, it could be the noose that hangs. Confusion is the walls that surround, clarity comes in the form of missed opportunities. Looking for comparison's I've found empty reasons and blatant excuses. Finely crafted to deliver an exact amount of hold power. When I am done, I will have my story. When it comes to an end, I will carry the knowledge and wisdom for it will be my only reward. With an end, clarity may finally be mine to proudly display.
When I close my eyes I see the wicked world and the mercy streets of every mans dream. They break the misery and cast a peaceful hue to even the most typical situations. I will crash into a union, and my heart will beat again. Only I hold the card to make it go away, only I stand the chance for change.
I deserve that which I stand for, I deserve that which I stand aside for and receive. I deserve what I stand and accept each and every day. I know I deserve a thread of peace, a beat of love, and comfort from that which stands in front of me. A tourniquet of typed words, neither changes nor deflects a person of selfish character, this, I already know, I've tried to reach his thread of compassion a hundred times that way. With an end, clarity may finally be my reward..........
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Tourniquet
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14 comments:
You're such an awesome writer. Even when troubled, the way you string your words touches the core of the reader's heart. My mother died in 1973. I so wish she was still here. She'd have loved this entry; would have sat right down and written you a letter.
Love you, admire your talent and fighting spirit. Keeping you in prayer.
Barb- http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK
Bring it to an end and stem the flow of blood seeping from your heart. Tighten your tourniquet and deaden the limb. Let its rotten flesh fall way from you. Purify yourself and become who you know you are and want to be and the demons of selfish living will suffer your good conscience.
You can do it.
With peace and love,
Charley
http://journals.aol.com/CDittric77/Courage
Change is good sometimes. You are strong, you can weather the change. You just have to make that decision for yourself. But you won't be alone.
If you ever need to talk, I'll listen. You know that, right?
Big hugs,
Ari
Whatever is hurting you, I hope that this Touriquet helps stop the bleeding.
I don't know what your burden is but i hope writing will help you heal:)
Deb
This is a miraculous entry. It speaks echos into my voids until it becomes flooded with music.
Renee'
There you are...Not said in the sense of you are missing...The writing Rebecca...beautiful!!!! Whatever you are doing? It worked...
Absolutely beautifully Rebecca!
Me
Hi Rebecca,
just wanted to let you know Thank you so so much for the wonderful greetings you sent me right before Thanksgiving. It was wonderful. When I saw the handwriting I knew it was from you. I was jumping with joy (ok..not physically jumping..but my heart was and it showed in my ear to ear smile.)
You are still sending smiles my way (& others) despite of the struggles you are going through. I knew I have met a rare person..and that's you!
Take it easy...whatever it is..this too shall pass.
Thank you for the wonderful thoughts you sent my way.
Smile!
Gem :-)
Hi! Have you notice that the advertising banner is gone ~ well, almost. Love, Nancy
Your talents with word goes beyond words can speak. I will come back and visit for sure. Terry Ann
Hope that tourniquet stems the flow of your pain whatever it is ....but its not stifled the flow of your words , they remain as fluid and beautiful as ever .x
Damn. Impressed.
I need to lay on my bed close my eyes and breathe heavy with a loud "SIGH"..lol...gurl loving the writing!!
FLAVA
Your words are put together beautifully and deserve to be read and reread, with new understanding each time. Thanks for sharing. Paulette
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