Main Entry: pray
Pronunciation: 'prA
Function: verb
1 : ENTREAT, IMPLORE -- often used as a function word in introducing a question, REQUEST, OR PLEA <pray be careful>
2 : to get or bring by praying
intransitive senses
1 : to make a request in a humble manner
2 : to address God or a god with adoration, confession, supplication, or thanksgiving
Twice this morning I was faced with the descriptive writing task of telling someone I am thinking of them, wishing for them, hoping for them. This, for personal reasons, is always a conflicting moment for me. As a loosely labeled Atheist, the concept of pray, praying for someone, is a tough written word hill to climb when I don't want to sound or feel hypocritical.
For reasons only I can decipher, I've always felt praying/to pray, was a cornerstone concept held by those who believe in religion. Things like, I will pray to God for guidance, I will pray to God for forgiveness, I will pray to God for understanding, I will pray to God for your health, etc. etc.......... Therefore, negating the usage of the word by someone who doesn't pray to anyone. Meaning, me. I know this is a self imposed off limits word, done to myself and by myself. That is why I am fishing around today writing about it~
So that brings me to these thoughts. The desire to wish someone well, to send good thoughts to someone who needs them, is just as strong as the next person, yet I've been unable to translate a specific word for this feeling, that doesn't feel hypocritical or borderline nonchalant.
As I journey through journals, write people notes, I find myself at a loss to what to type. As many can probably attest too, I will normally say, "I'm keeping you in my thoughts, or sending you my very best wishes from Idaho."
The concept is the same, the wording just doesn't seem as powerful as, "I'll pray for you." Of course, this could be a self conjured issue of no real consequence, but darnit, it's something that bothers me.
In the world of someone who doesn't believe in a God, I find the concept of praying just as powerful as the next person. It's one of the things I admire about the religious community. I grasp and always feel very thankful when someone tells me they are praying for me, or my family. I find it a beautiful thing in which I can gather strength and hope from.
Praying to me, is my meditating. The power of thought, the strength of putting the thought into an action of desires, concern, wishes and hopes. I just haven't found a cornerstone word that I'm comfortable with that encompasses the feeling I know I have just as strong as a religious person. I just don't think the words "I'll meditate for you" comes off as the correct way or truly sincere way of implying my strong desire to let someone know I'm thinking of them.
I look to the dictionary sometimes, as my force of understanding and meaning. Today I looked up the word pray, and found myself very interested in the first description.
~To make a request in a humble manner.~
I'm going to chew that over for a bit, and see if I can make it stick in my world. Maybe, just maybe, someday I will feel comfortable with saying "I'll pray for you" in this humble manner and not feel hypocritical. And for today, I'll try it out for the first time in over 10 years...............
I pray for the safety and health and happiness of everyone I know.
Now, see, that seems so much more powerful at conveying the very feelings from deep within me I have. Verses saying "I'm thinking of you" that just can't seem to capture the sincere emotion I want to convey.
30 comments:
Yes Rebecca, coming from you.....it's powerful!
Why you asked? Because you are sincere about it.
Have a glorious week!
Gem :-)
Indeed it is! Prayer is a way of communication, not a thing. It's how we converse, what we say, how we say it, and how we feel it. To pray is to enter into, and continue a relationship :)
That's rough. I have the same problem. I usually end up asking my Mom to "pray" and then telling people my Mom is praying.
I don't pray but I can be empathetic and sympathetic and even helpful if I have the resources.
If you find a more suitable word clue me in.
SINS
Yup, I can relate to this one and you have nailed it.
Great entry~
Put a Smile on your face and a song in your heart.
Wishing you health, happiness and laughter.
TJ~
http://journals.aol.com/paisleyskys/PaisleySkys
There is no adequate word in English that has the same connotation as the word "to pray." I wish I knew one too, because I'm sure that my own concept of prayer is not only different than the majority of people here in the US, but even a large plurality of those who share my faith. "I'm thinking of you" seems sterile on paper, but if it's heartfelt, there's nothing sterile about it. What it says to me is "if there's anything I can do for you, tell me, and I'll do it the best I can."
Rebecca, I can't tell you how spooky this is. I just left a journal where somebody had asked for prayers for an ill friend. I knew what I felt and I knew the sentiment that I wanted to convey which was that I wished and hoped with every fibre of my being that the person would get better and my J-Land friend wouldn't have to feel so distressed about it anymore. But there I sat, agonising, tongue-twisted, tortured and my typing fingers in knots. It felt so inadequate and nonchalant to type "I'm thinking of her" but to type "I'll pray for her" would have felt deceptive to me. The fact is I wasn't brought up in the comforting arms of religion but as it is I do have a belief in God, but I don't exactly "pray" or attend church - I've never been shown how. I wish I was "in" the club, but at my age it just feels like I'm gatecrashing the party and everybody's already drunk! So I can really relate to what you said here in this entry.
Tilly x
http://journals.aol.co.uk/tillysweetchops/Adventuresofadesperatelyfathouse/
But see, here's the thing. You're imposing someone else's idea of the word "pray" into your mind. You CAN say "I'll pray for you" and mean it, even if it has nothing to do with any religious beliefs. As long as you know what it means, that's all that matters. Even so, I do understand what you mean. I don't even like to use the word "pray" because I'm afraid the person will come back with "Oh don't bother, I don't believe in that." I don't want to make it seem as if I demean their beliefs.
So yeah, you're right. There needs to be another word for pray. If we can't think of one that is heartfelt, then let's make one up. And the word can encompass everyone, not be associated with any belief system.
Ari
Thoughtful entry...I will continue thinking about this one. Michelle
I generally convey, "you have my hope for the best". It carries with it a sincerity, that keeps me feeling true to myself, Rebecca.
When someone tells me that they'll pray for me, I most often perceive it as a conventional 'insincerity', and envision them never actually praying. If for some unusual reason I think that they do, I imagine them realistically talking, or meditating to their hopeful conscience.
If one does the math, the worldwide arbitrary occurrence of anything that could be deemed exceptional, correlating with a prayer, might better convince them that it's nothing more than an extremely rare coincidence when it happens.
Notice, too; most people don't start sweating religion until they're about to emotionally crack, or get close to middle-age, and the end looms evermore substantive.
I think our best proof of what it's going to be like when we pass, isn't found in any holy book that was transcribed by mortals. It'll be just like it was before you were born. -- Genuine 'nothingness'.
No concerns, honey. That was 'never' bad to you, was it?
~Affectionately, Brian @---->---
http://journals.aol.com/thelovetrain/tracks/
Rebecca this honest entry makes me love you all the more I believe you have said the ultimate truth you wish for everyone's safety health and happiness and when you meditate and call to mind this image it is invoking the higher good for humanity Jesus said," PRAY ALWAYS" the shortest sentence ever; but, He knew if we all kept lofty thoughts the world would be a better place. When you visualize your noble thoughts for another, it is created. It is a blueprint a map of the higher good. Your very life is a prayer. You offer yourself, your best for your daughters, your family, and your friends and I am sure in your workplace...There is a book written by the Simontons about GETTING WELL AGAIN...the importance of meditation and creative visualization is brought out. I think you have a beautiful spirit and I believe you touch many lives and I know I feel honored that you said, "I pray for the safety and health and happiness of everyone I know. " I know you are sincere. I know you are powerful, and I know a thousand angels rejoice at your very words because your words are filled with love.... and that is what this journey is all about. All my Love, CMP
For me, if you tell me you are "sending positve thoughts your way..." or " I am meditating for your health or peace or happiness..." It absolutely holds the same weight in my book. I have several pagan friends who either "light a candle" or "will stir a prayer" for me...or ask Mother Nature or Godess Mother or their personal deity to send me well wishes...it all conveys the thought of your pesonal consideration for me...
Just me...
be well,
Dawn
ummm..well yanno I pray all the time..hey who else with deal with me except GOD? ahahhahah..HEY GIRLIE!!
Flava
author of "SAVIOR FLAVA"
http://journals.aol.com/ladyhasflava/TheDayandTimesofaNovelist
Right, so I was getting ready to write another witty entry in my journal when I checked my e-mail first and came across this extremeley thought provoking entry.
Note to self: Read "In the Shadow of the Iris" AFTER you are done writing for "What the Hell...?"
Anyway, I'm Agnostic and I always feel slightly uncomfortable when someone says to me, "I'm praying for you." One, they usually don't. And two, since I'm Agnostic their God is a Christian God and mine is your general run of the mill one. Not the same dude.
But I know they mean well, so I just bite my tongue.
I know, so rare for me to do.
http://journals.aol.com/jeffcomedy/Whatthehell
Oh wow... you have called my number on this one!
Like you, I am uncomfortable using the word pray, since I don't really....
For me, I have gone with the flow and written these words to people for lack of other words to use or not seeming unconcerned or insincere...
Now, I am most likely to write 'my wish for you is to find peace', which not only is true, but also less likely to make me feel bad or hypocritical.
Hope you can find something you are comfortable with, too :)
Cat
Quite a thought provoking entry, Rebecca. Religion is a complicatied thing. Thanks for sharing your innermost beliefs.
Very nice entry... and agreed that since I'm a pagan I don't like to use the word pray either as it has been so linked with more organized religions. I usually offer to 'send good thoughts'.. or occasionally 'light a candle'. I don't use the light a candle very much because when I say that, I actually do light a candle and spend a few moments meditating about the person or situation. If I did that for each person I want to know that I am thinking about them... well, I wouldn't get anything else done <LOL>.
http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind
Well put
Tammy
Beautiful entry. My take on prayers is that they have the potential to connect us with the highest and most noble within our conception and then expand that boundary. For me, it's through my Christian tradition and to the infinite God/dess. For someone else, it could be to the depths and heights of their own spirit. The prayer is our effort to connect, and its power is profound. I do pray through meditation, and I pray through request, and I pray through laughter and mute longing as well. I firmly believe that the practice and action of prayer holds power as well as the whom, or where, or what to which the prayer is addressed. I hope your journey in claiming prayer as part of you is richly blessed.
I so relate to what you are saying here. I fiind myself using the phrase "I'll keep you in my prayers" or "I'll pray for you" and feeling hypocritical in the process. I once worked with a woman who badly needed the support and learning of Alcoholics Anonymous - except she was adamant that she didn't believe in any "God" or "Higher Power". When told that the reason for the higher power was simply to acknowledge that she coulnd't quit on will-power alone, she made her vacuum cleaner her 'higher power". Worked like a charm - and when she was really stressed that old vacuum got a real workout! Paulette
Rebecca... Thank you. You have awakened my brain cells again. In my opinion, thoughts are prayers. To think is to pray. Like ripples in a pond, our thoughts drift away into what Is and that energy has an effect. Although I do not believe in what is known by most as God, I do believe in an Energy...a Creative Force...the Great Mystery. There is much we do not know.
This morning I keep you in my thoughts (prayers) and wish you the best.
I feel good wishes sent by others sometimes. who knows the power of our minds?
Marti
Sometimes I feel conflicted with saying "you are in my prayers' or something of that nature. I want to say something that comes from the heart, but those five words can be difficult sometimes. I think it has something to do with my upbringing.
I'm so glad you wrote this, I have exactly the same problem.
I have a huge belief in the power of thought and loving thoughts, yet I stopped believing in the god of the bible a long time ago. I touched on my possible pagan leanings in my journal last week but without any sacrifices etc, more just feeling the power of nature and appreciating her beauty.
I shall enjoy reading your other entries.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/lindaggeorge/GeorgeMansions/
I was asked by a friend why I had not slept the night before. I replied, that I was very contemplative. He said, so you were praying? I said no I was not praying. I dont "pray" as in what the majority looks on as praying. I am not one that assigns myself a religion... I have my beliefs of nature, blah blah. Yet I have difficulty when someone asks me to pray. I have my own meditation or ritual I guess, based solely on meditation, centering my thoughts. Yet it is difficult to explain and to be understood. Even signing Blessings...I dont intend as MOST would take it.
That is why I usually sign off with Peace. My thoughts is good, and I like the way you worded it. It says what you feel and still gets the point that whomever is in your thoughts.
a subject of struggle. I am with you.
Peace
Jodi
meditation is my prayer as well. I send healing and loving energy, and personally believe that God/Great Spirit is in all things. I pray/ meditate on those I love, I wish all around me peace and wholeness. Organized religion has played such a part in harming me, that I find myself coming from a much more nature-based approach now. All things are sacred, all things are holy.... the rocks and trees and animals are all a part of this.
What humans have made of religion in some cases profoundly saddens me. I want no part of any ego-based 'I am better than you because I believe' philosophy. That is a slippery slope indeed.
I know some people who express a true and glowing faith, and practice it day in and day out... not just when it is convenient or suits their needs. I have great respect for that attitude. It is so different from the faith my family of origin practiced, only when somebody was looking.
This was a fantastic post and one I can identify with. 'To make a request in a humble manner' is beautiful.
As always you give me things to think on.
judi
A very interesting point you have here but I have read somewhere, and I like to think of prayer as being a thought, such as you said, My thoughts are with you. You are in my thoughts, I will keep your in my thoughts, however most of the world is most comfortable if we can verbalize and accept having good wishes or thoughts or concerns for someone and somewhere in our mind taking them in to the center of our being, seeing them in the light as they truly are, whole and perfect, if only for a moment, as praying for them. I'll keep you in my prayers. I'll bring you or your challange in while I am meditating, it doesn't really matter what we call it, we must be true to ourselves and do what feel right for us.
Whether you say you believe in God or not doesn't matter, from what I have seen in your writings you are in touch with "That Which Is Everywhere Present" I believe you believe in a supreme being or higher power and you are on your path of self discovery which has no other recorse but to lead you there, because eventually we all get there.
Okay Rebecca,
I understand completely how you feel as I have jockeyed myself in and out of confusing religious, philosophical and spiritual journeys throughout my years on earth.
I think what I have done, in situations where I have not been comfortable saying,"I'll pray for you ", is to encourage the person to reach for the light, where warmth and hope can always be found.
On a train to Germany, a few years ago, I found myself seated in the very last car with an evangelical Christian peace activist from the Congo. We talked for hours in that train, and in the end he asked if I could send back a word of hope to his people in the Congo. (This is a chapter in my unpublished novel, "The Trip", and I appreciated hearing that you would like to hear more about it. ) Anyhow, he enthusiastically hooked up his video camera and microphone after I said yes, without even thinking twice about it!
Although I am not going to go back there right now to retrieve my exact words, I can tell you that I said something to the effect of watching the way a plant or tree branch grows, how it searches for the light in order to receive sustenance and continue to grow. I said that his people in the Congo need simply to reach towards the light for their guidance, as we must all do during times of war, pain and sorrow.
It worked. He loved it!
Hope it helps you as well.
Always reaching,
Maryanne
Whether you are a self-avowed person in faith or not, praying is not only about God. It is about your own being and soul. I, personally believe in God, but really struggle with what all of it means. But definitely feel a connection to SOMETHING when I pray. And I pray often. I found it interesting that although you don't believe in God yourself, you do find comfort in others believing in him for your sake. . . Chew on that too. I was raised in a christian home, but have explored many religions, on the basis of a) learning more about me, b) learning more about other ideals around the world. There are so many out there that don't require a "God" but are spiritual. Part of that is because it is about praying. It doesn't have to be TO anything or anyone, but FOR something, and come from your heart. Cya, Best to ya, Kris
oh man I JUST love webster.....
It takes a word you thought you knew and expands it into places yet unexplored.
Sometimes the defination is lacking though....it is then that I make stuff up.
:)
Hugs from a kindred spirit,
Christina
You have a beautiful spirit, wish you well, and praying happy prayers for you and yours.
Derek
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