On certain days, I feel like a weed growing 10 feet tall in the middle of a field of flowers. There is no adequate word in English that has the same connotation as the word "to pray." I wish I knew one too, because I'm sure that my own concept of prayer is not only different than the majority of people here in the US, but even a large plurality of those who share my faith. "I'm thinking of you" seems sterile on paper, but if it's heartfelt, there's nothing sterile about it. What it says to me is "if there's anything I can do for you, tell me, and I'll do it the best I can." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chuck from Separation anxiety is also a Guest Editors pick this week. There are many good reasons his journal was chosen. I recommend a visit~~ Thats all for today.
On other days, I feel like a sunflower growing 10 feet tall in the middle of a thorn patch.
And then on some days, I realize maybe I'm not as unique and strange as I sometimes perceive myself as.
I'm human, I take comfort in that.
Case in point, my entry on praying.
I honestly didn't realize other people struggled with that verbiage, feeling, and concept as I do. I assumed I was being my typical strange weed self, to even take issue with it and write about it. Hell, to be honest <no pun intended> I figured everyone else in the world was out there sending, saying, labeling, writing pray with emotional abandon and a flick of the typing finger.
Imagine my surprise when the comments started coming in, that expressed the same sort of discord or difficulty with the actual word, not the meaning, but the essence of a simple word that can carry such an amazing impact.
Call it selfish reassurance, but I relished in the fact I wasn't the only one who struggles with this tiny little word. I gleamed some wonderful advice from the comments and some beautiful email. I didn't feel like I was shipwrecked on my own island with just a piece of paper with the word pray on it.
I know sometimes what I write about is about as unpredictable as a slot machine in Vegas. Be it teenie, or be it huge, through my entries, I am able to put tangible to the thoughts and the majority of the time, by the participation of others, I've found I'm not such a solitary weed, flower, island or thought as it sometimes feels.
Thank You
I'd like to show one comment that really smacked me upside my overactive thoughts.
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Comment from redsneakz - 10/3/05 3:43 PM
Just a thought from the eclectic fields of life...............
Tuesday, October 4, 2005
Fields Of Life
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12 comments:
Well said. I visited and his is a great read!
Peace and love,
Charley
http://journals.aol.com/CDittric77/Courage
He is the bomb....
Rebecca we have had these kinda "discussions" before...and I do still have to agree...I am amazed by the mere fact that I am not alone. I am not as warped or freaky as I have been made to feel. I think we need to start our own town...Oh boy the comments will be hitting me soon...DUCK DUCK....lol
Rebecca you can be that weed and stand out above the "norm", that is why I come here ;o) Just know that there are some of us out here with ya, just swaying in the wind, waiting for that someone to just bend over and be intoxicated....
SIGH
Jodi
THe Juggernaut hee hee
As always, beautifully stated, Rebecca. Trust me when I say that one of those people you referred to received your intended sentiments. She is a lucky person to have the privilege of calling you a friend. Now, repeat after me, "Everything will be fine, everything will be fine, everything will be fine."
I promise,
Judith
http://journals.aol.com/jtuwliens/MirrorMirrorontheWall
...oh yeah, and by the way...your dwelling!
::sniffle::
Judith
while this is "after the fact" ..I find the need to jump in...........
Imagine your children not saying a word to YOU for a whole week! They pass by you..as if you don't exist! Finally, you sit them down and ask "why the silent treatment?".... they simply shug their shoulders and reply and state ...they have what they need and the things they really want, you won't let them have! "Well, don't be so presumtious,,,you can at least ask!" is your reply, afterall..without words from them...how can you integrate with with their lives??
Prayer is the means that allows us to integrate and with something bigger than us.iEven without reciving, we get the feeling of connecting!..It is just one of the many stepping stones that takes us from being a colorless weed, and becoming a flourishing flower...sustaining an element of positive energy!---
Praying your day has a boquet of warm thoughts in it! Marc :)
What a beautiful way to feel. Life in general is not the hard part but dealing with our own inner feelings, those voices in our heads whether we want to admit we have them or not. Our inability to see that we are divine and we are perfect just the way we our. That we don't need to change anything about us or anybody else just accept ourselves, flaws and all, if we want to call them that and love ourselves first so that we can eventually truly unconditionally love someone else. Don't ask me where that came from it just came and so it is.
Marlene-PurelyPoetry
http://journals.aol.com/mkolasa101/PurelyPoetry
It really seems that you know yourself so well and are really very thoughtful and genuine in your words. I agree, that "I'm thinking of you" means just as much to someone in need of comfort. I believe that when I pray God is thinking of me. Praying has never been an area of comfort to me, and I go to church almost every Sunday! I always think, gosh, I'm not doing this right...or my mind wanders and then I think God will be disappointed in my effort. I just have never felt like I pray the smooth, natural way that I hear others pray. I pray for my family. I say my thank you's. I pray for all the things I am thankful for to continue. It is nice to remember we are human! Michelle
Guess what I am? A thistle. I am tenacious, stubborn, thrifty, and beautiful...see?...you aren't so alone. ;) C. http://journals.aol.com/gdireneoe/thedailies
:-D It is so nice to find we are not alone...
I know no one that has the diseases I have in my "every day life" but online I participate in an email loop of 14 of us, from all over the country and have done so for three years. It is an amazing feeling to know "others get you".
To me, that is the greatest value of the internet, making the world a little smaller in the ways we need it to be.
Be well,
Dawn
I hope that I share the feelings of others in believing that praying is a personal introspective journey that involves a connection with oneself, others and the Universe as a whole. My Catholic upbringing has made it rather difficult for me to challenge myself outside of a very straightforward box, but I plod onwards, nonetheless, led by my intuition that believes that there is so much more to a spiritual journey than simply religion.
Thank-you so much for forcing us to think abstractly, Rebecca.
And now I must go back and read your prayer entry, which I somehow missed.
Maryanne
And why you have made my pick for Insightful journal, Rebecca, is that it's possible to have a real dialogue with you about matters great (like Prayer) and small (like Bucky Dent's lifetime home run total or record as a manager).
Chuck
I doubt any of us hold a thought or fear that is totally unique to just us. It is just a matter of discovering others who share those same thoughts or fears. We are never totally alone, if we choose to come out and be heard.
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