Conception of perception in a reality built in a padded corridor. That is how I've lived my life.
I have never feared weather. I don't know what the slice of an ice storm feels like, or the sounds of snapping powerlines and tree's falling from a frozen state. I've never felt the unrelenting stroke of the sun, and feared for anyone in the heat. I know not what the sounds of a hurricane sounds like pounding outside my doors, or the measure of strength a tornado tearing my countryside apart. I don't know if a blizzard is terrifying or beautiful in it's own right. I have never felt the tugs of survival at my doorstep, nor the fear of my life or my families. I do not know anything but love and admiration for my nature, my Mother Earth, because I have never stood in her path of destruction.
On 9/11 I stood helplessly, safely and most insignificant in front of my TV watching the violence and devastation from a TV. Thoughts of war, thoughts of safety for my family did indeed fill my mind, yet, from the safety of my living room, I thought either with ignorant innocence, or disbelief, that my Idaho was still a pretty safe haven. On a terrorist list, we'd be one of the last to even bother with.
But that feeling, is something I can remember, a feeling of realism, a pin prick to the bubble of my sheltered state boundaries. I watched in fear and hope, to those running from an inexcusable assault against innocent people. I was riveted from the safety of my home that day. Watching something my mind could barely conceive, on TV.
I've realized, again, with the results of what just occurred with Katrina, that nothing bad has ever happened in my life. Things that I've felt were bad, have no comparison to the measuring stick of those that have lived through such things.
My compassion and heartache has always gone out to those who have gone through such things. I feel the only way I can reach into those situations is through my heart and mind. With physical distance and emotional connection, it's the best I've been able to do. Even then, I've felt my emotional connection couldn't compare to anything another person who has been directly effected by such disasters. This is where the insignificant follows suit. Even reaching for a check book, sending away donations and well wishes seems on the whole, not significant enough.
I've read in many journals these last few weeks, others disregarding the things that have them down, problems they may be having, issues of life, love, work, and anything else reality produces. Negating their personal issues in lieu of others with much more difficult paths right now. I understand and comprehend why feeling angry over something mundane or typical may seems like a perversion of reality in the face of what others are dealing with. Yet, physical reality is born of day to day life and emotional contemplation of issues is what we humans are good at.
We deal with what is placed at our feet. Whether that is a hurricane, or a fight with our neighbor. It is what it is, however insignificant or by design, significant. It all keeps marching on, whether we feel the pause, or freeze in the spotlight of tragedy.
Then again, maybe I am the naive, innocent, sheltered mountain girl from the backwoods of Idaho. But I believe you need the inconceivable, to measure your compassion, you need heartache to appreciate the beauty of love ala special, you need the black and the white. The good mingled with the bad, and the devastating with the amazing stories of humanity to follow.
On this day I feel the need to accept the insignificant with the spectacular significant and blend them for a co-existence of reality.............
15 comments:
SO well said. It is so easy to take life and loved ones for granted. Some things as small as a bar of soap, others as big as our own breath. Yet, life is what it is.
I try so hard to live each day, knowing in the back of my heart that tomorrow might not be so uneventful. I try to always go to sleep having said my thanks. We have a home. We have each other. We are healthy. We breathe.
Michelle
You have compassion to spare. Yes, to understand the full force of something like a hurricane or a tornado or an earthquake, you have to experience it. The closest I came is a few years back when the tail end of a 'cane lashed through the area. The worst that we experienced was howling winds, the not-to-be-reasoned-with fears of a five year old child, and 27 hours of no power. But to understand, to empathize with, the feelings of grief, of loss, of heartbrokenness that others have felt, you don't need to have experienced those things yourself; you simply have to listen with a full heart and an open mind.
Although you may have never feared weather as you described, you are nonetheless affected by its ravaging reality. This is evident by your compassion, sensitivity and thoughtfulness to those who have experienced it firsthand. You may physically be in the safe zone, free from storms and terror, but your heart is in the battlefields. You send well wishes, you take time out of your day to consider how people are getting along in their personal situations. Heck, even whipping out your checkbook is evident of how much you are affected by such "conceptions of perceptions."
I appreciate your words on a day of such significance. Today is, indeed, a day to pause.
Best,
Judith Ann
http://journals.aol.com/jtuwliens/MirrorMirrorontheWall
your not naive, your very well rounded, your a thinker. This is a beautiful concept. Have you seen the movie "Crash"? Thanks for this entry.
Derek
Thank you for this beautiful entry and the admission that being in Idaho is somewhat safer than NYC. lol I am happy that you took the time to memorialize this momentous day...thank you.
Be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/
Poetry:
Point taken. Certainly a day to remember, one noone will ever forget.
Tammy
Hurricane? -- I sat through ALL that ravaged Florida, in the recent past. The sounds emanating from my Tampa apartment air-vents, were much like a giant, movie-monster. I've never heard anything like it, other than cinema. My power was out for four days, and a huge tree laid across the parallel-running railroad tracks, one-hundred feet from my front door.
I've also experienced a forty degrees below-zero blizzard, in North Dakota. Homes were completely buried under snow, and exposure of five-minutes caused my hands and face to feel... strikingly painful. Daylight visibility, was perhaps fifty feet, at most.
I may be a humble borderline genius, but when it comes to avoiding oncoming Mother Nature disasters...
911? I tried not to dwell on it today, but it wasn't an easy mental-image to avoid, outside of my journal. Forthrightly, I'd rather read and write, about 'love'.
... Though as you've written in your own words; there cannot be good, without bad. I do my best to embrace, and appreciate them both.
~Brian @--->---
PS: I do enjoy your writing. You're quite literate, and eloquent, Rebecca.
http://journals.aol.com/thelovetrain/tracks/
... That's; read, and write, about 'love', without the horrifying disaster thrown in.
~Brian @---->---
http://journals.aol.com/thelovetrain/tracks/
Excellent perceptions, Rebecca. This piece of writing is superb!
A tornado sounds like a train rumbling through the neighborhood...an earthquake feels like a huge truck is barreling down your street NOT stopping at the corner STOP sign...and a hurricane, well, what can I say? A hurricane seems to go on and on with high winds that make one's house howl. What I remember most is the wind and horizontal, white-out rain. A hurricane lasts and lasts often overnight and for a day, or two. No electricity. No coffee. No way to get to town. Downed trees. Blizzards are beautiful. The snow comes down for hours. It is best to be at home. inside and warm. From inside, one watches soft white mountains rise.
You are most fortunate in not experiencing the force of Mother Nature beyond Her beauty. I firmly believe that things just happen and it is our job to stand in awe, deal with what Is, learn and come out on top.
B.
http://journals.aol.com/beingelisabeth/Centering/
http://journals.aol.com/benu4444/CreativityBitsandPieces/
yes, there is always someone's lot who is worse than our own... and it provides a very neccessary reality check sometimes. Very thoughtful post. judi
Even during the grandest of moments, whether good or bad, all people play a role. It is the multitude of those that are insignificant that make a world of significant people and places!
Peace and love,
Charley
http://journals.aol.com/CDittric77/Courage
I'm repeating myself, but you wouldn't completely APPRECIATE your very BEST day if you hadn't experienced your very WORST ~ whatever that may have been for YOU.
Cyndy
I would say you`re anything but a naive girl.....you have hit things right on the head....thanks for sharing
Mother Nature is really good at making us fel insignificant! Very nice entry.
Its a scary thing when we realise just how fragile our existance is .......of course things in the recent history of the world have no doubt made us all feel this fragility .
But even a movie can make me feel sooooooo tiny and helpless ...theres a scene in the movie Deep Impact near the end when the tidal wave is coming from the asteriod hit on earth and tea leoni has ran to the beach of her childhood to be with her father at the last ....the two huddle together as they watch the wave come in and instantly she is a child again as she turns her head into her fathers chest and says "daddy" just before the wave hits !
That scene made me feel like a speck on a speck on this planet .....but to see such things in reality makes me feel even smaller x
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