Monday, August 8, 2005

How Late Is It?

    I know I mention from time to time in my journal that I suffer from the irritating affliction called insomnia. One of my strict rules during insomnia is "do not get up and start writing," especially on the computer. Tonight I've decided to break my own rule because I haven't even been able to fall asleep yet.

       I implemented the rule because to actually remove myself from bed and get involved in anything at all, is really the sleeping kiss of death. Sleep won't come for hours now. But a person can only lay there for so many hours before all the opposing teams in my mind throw in the towel and give in to the mother of sleep robbery, insomnia.

       I realized on my 10 day sabbatical, insomnia finally took a rest. I slept through every night. It was glorious. It was amazing. It was precious. It was very much needed. A magical combination that spooked the insomnia away for many days. I wish I had that magic back. Perhaps, I left my sleeping card back in Montana, along with the others things I left there.

       Those days went by far to quickly and I've tried to cling to the emotions, feelings, essence I captured while I was away. A priceless week that time played many tricks on me. At one moment, time felt like it stood still, other moments it was flying by faster then I could hold the hands that were spinning around a clock. I had amazing high points and incredible low points. But for the most part, it was a steady stream of wonderful that I wish I could do over again and again............

    To much thinking feeds the insomnia monster, so off I go to count sheep, hymn a tune, and quiet the beast.............Thinking about flyfishing under the full moon in Montana, the sense of peace that fell upon my thoughts, the touch of freedom that tempted me with possibilities.

Now, I'm feeling all warm and cozy again

<cheshire smile>

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Loved this entry and guess what!? There are many of us in journal land who share this with you! I am one of them, ummm....It is past 2 A.M and I am STILL up. I have been really bad lately with insomnia....I know it is do to all the mixed emotions and thoughts I have been haunted with to get this house sold and another bought! I have been experiencing severe headaches and a lot lately as well! So Rebecca you are not alone, LOL!

Talk to you later and on that note I am NOW going to go to bed! HA!!! ::WINK:: I hope you will be able to as well and hope you sleep so good you get to experience sweet dreams.

                                       Nite!

- Jessica
http://journals.aol.com/aljes12/Jessicasthoughtsfeelings

Anonymous said...

or...you could keep visions of Hermaphrodite Flatworms dancing in your head!
Hope you are refreshed and ready for this new day...the possibilities are there....just pick a direction!
Peace~~~~~ Marc :)

Anonymous said...

I understand that. i too have made that mistake of getting up to just look over my recent writing, and get inspired, and end up for hours as the wee hours of morning approach, but the adreniline has kept me going.
I love the picture. You look completly at peace with your soul...

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean. Sometimes the harder you try to sleep, the more difficult it becomes to drift off. ~ Lori

Anonymous said...

I could identify with you. I had insomnia for 9 months, and I had to make some choices to eliminate some stress in my life before I could drift off again. Now instead of sleeping 3 hrs. a night, I sleep 9 hrs. But I still wake up during the night from time to time. Great entry & nice picture.

Anonymous said...

I also suffer from insomnia. I used to be like you-my mind just wouldn't let me sleep. Now I attribute it the insomnia to other things, like hating the dark, fear,worries that attack when my body isn't moving around and doing things.
I keep certain books near my bed and read them when insomnia strikes. They're books full of positive thoughts and that's usually enough to send me back into dreamland...
Maryanne
http://journals.aol.com/globetrotter2u/Myfeelingsarereal/

Anonymous said...

hope you find your peace. love, judi

Anonymous said...

It must be going around.  Every night last week, at least one of my family members was up to 2, 3, 4 in the morning.  Whatever it is, I hope it goes away since school starts this week!

Chris
http://journals.aol.com/swibirun/Inanethoughtsandinsaneramblings
http://journals.aol.com/swibirun/MyJournalJarSaturdaySixetcanswer

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you had that time in Montana...the highs and the lows.  What a glorious escape it must have been!  I haven't slept well for a few days now...I can't imagine dealing with it if it was chronic.  I wonder how it was that you were able to sleep so well on your trip?  Maybe you need to sleep under the stars in your own back yard!!  Hugs, Michelle

Anonymous said...

Sleep well tonight, Rebecca. Thinkers are usually afflicted with insomnia because their brains are always churning. It is a blessing and a curse...

Anonymous said...

I daydream when I can't sleep. I haven't been able to make it through a whole daydream without dozing off. My daydreams are really good though. It's an all star cast, it is. :)

Ari

Anonymous said...

Rebecca, I get insomnia  when people tell me I have issues, then I dwell on it and think to much!  and can't fall asleep
Nice journal... keep journaling! http://journals.aol.com/buggieboo1/ADayintheLifeofMe/
Sharon

Anonymous said...

Ahh, the sandman forgets to visit your home too?  Rest assured that I can relate and think that sometimes it does no good to lay there awake for hours wishing sleep would come only to realize that it isn't and you've let precious time whittle away instead of doing something.  Yeah, I get that.
Tammy

Anonymous said...

Rules are made to be broken, yup, that's what my Sissy always says!  Night-night-termite..... I'm going to catch some Zzzz's  - Julie -

Anonymous said...

Good evening.....There is something comforting about your writing. Your writing is quite heartfelt and honest. I like reading your journal very much indeed. I'm glad that you write.....

Anonymous said...

I have insomnia, it sucks.  I do all the same tricks to not let my mind start to wander...it is so hard.  {{{ hug }}}

Be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/
Poetry:
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/TouchofEmpathy/

Anonymous said...

sleep sweet, dear
marti

Anonymous said...

The most annoying thing about insomnia is that everyone has a cure for it that doesn't work.  And I refuse to take drugs of any sort for it, including alcohol.

Anonymous said...

Depends on what my insomnia is from as to how I handle it.  If I can't sleep because I am extremely worried about something, then I try to get up and take my mind off of it, by getting online, writing, or calling one of my night owl friends. Talking on the phone while still in bed is relaxing, and helps me, but ya gotta have a night owl friend.  If I can't sleep because I took some meds or took too long of a nap then I also daydream like ARI mentioned... GOOD daydreams.. lol.. it works.  It is aggrevating and hoping you find some relief.. does it go in cycles or random?

Anonymous said...

uh..um..it's 12:26 AM ET here...feeling guilty that I have not catch up on everybody else journal...I don't even care that I haven't post an entry in my journal since Friday I think. Lately I keep telling myself I have soo much to do...but I can't do it because I don't want to do it... I'm lazy and I'm guilty for feeling lazy! so..this is what's keeping me up....laziness and feeling guilty...crazy huh?
Gem :-)
http://journals.aol.com/libragem007/JournallyYours

Anonymous said...

Insomnia is the beast of unresolved issues, stress, and physiological battles. I hope you win them and find resolution!
Peace and love,
Charley
http://journals.aol.com/CDittric77/Courage

Anonymous said...

Yep fellow insomniac riiiight here .....yep do the whole cant sleep must sit at computer screen till damndawn thang .....yep yep yep nytol , hot milk ,counting sheep .....zip, nadda, big ole zero results there !
Hey next time your wide awake and proping up the screen odds on my screen name will be there too ! x