Diversity

       Coming to terms with the conflict is always an interesting mission for me. When I find myself stuck out on a precarious branch of my tree of life, I have two choices, keep sliding out to the edge, where it could break off, or slowly and carefully backtrack to the core and stronger parts of my tree. It can be a sweet mistake to push the limits and try making it too those tiny little branches that look so appealing. Lately, I've been pushing the strength of my tiny little branches. Testing their durability, seeing if they are really ready for full force contact. I had to see if they had become strong enough to take my entire weight on. But with the cracking and snapping I've been hearing, I regret, they aren't ready to support me in total.

       There's something sexy about placing trust in oneself and facing fear head on without regard to possible backlash. I can curve around the branches and accept the cause and effect, I'm comfortable with that. I'll accept the hideous along with the rewards, it's always a risk I'm willing to stumble or glide through. What goes up, must come down, so says the wisdom. And with the down comes the rebound and the circle illuminates itself just in time for another climb of the branches. I know this tree, I know what it's capable of, and I place my trust in it. Sometimes, I even climb down from my tree and quietly swing from the tire swing I hung from it awhile ago. It's a good place to go when I need some quiet time without influence....................

       I believe enough time has passed by, that I can bring this up without anyone touching or finding the specifics. I read a "review" from a person about my journal a while ago. Stumbled across it actually and found myself in awe and contemplation of the persons words. It said "**Removed because of my ignorance on the tricky world of the internet, the comment could be found and the exact wording really had no bearing on my topic other then the person said they no longer read my journal because they were usually lost, no ill intention meant at all" The reason I bring that review into my journal now <and yes a bit of time has passed and it's not a big deal, but I haven't forgotten it> is that I can understand why this person would think as such. I am all over the place for the majority of the time. For me writing is about cleansing. Writing is about expression and writing is about unleashing that which is within. It is that which I appreciate most about writing in a journal. No rules, no expectations and no guidelines. I suppose if I found such reviews all over the place about my journal, I would slink completely into the private world again with my thoughts. But I feel, the majority of the time, people who frequent my journal expect the unexpected, understand the eclectic and appreciate the diversity.

       Diversity is something I marveled at today as I meandered around Journal Land. I ran across several beautiful written pieces by others and I can't help but marvel at the ability many have of "putting ourselves" out "there" for pubic consumption. I ran across humorous entries that I found myself laughing out loud at, and entries that humbled me appropriately. Maybe bringing up that review is my way of saying, that yes, sometimes I am all over the place, but that is my thoughts and world, and this is my comfort zone to sift through and mediate what is given and what is taken. I was writing about give and take with another journaler from our community. I believe we established it really is about give and take, take and give. I write the thoughts.......thus giving.......and in return I receive the comments, thus me taking. And when I visit other journals it is just the opposite.......I believe we all walk a delicate and intricate balance of trust given freely, because I believe only through trust can we expose ourselves through writing as we sometimes do.