Click your heels 3 times

       Click your heels together three times, and chant, "I want to be home, I want to be home" oh all right, pack up, throw everything into said car without precision, without organized regard and start driving. This elicits an "I want to be home NOW" feeling and you just hope the friendly cops you might run across, understand that pushing the speed limit is in order! I didn't run into any cops, I arrived home at a ghastly hour, but I'm here, dead sunburnt plants and all.

Inhale deeply, exhale deeply, repeat as necessary today.
Reality is at hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

       Now that my time, my freedom, has passed. Someone like me, feels the need to reflect back on what I've achieved, what I garnered, what I learned. Purpose of sorts, without any special need or understanding required. There are feelings I experienced that even I wouldn't be able to place words too. There were times when I felt like I was on top of the world, that not another person could be feeling as wonderful as I was feeling at the exact moment. There were also times I felt sunk as low as a person would ever want to go.

       I think when you remove yourself from familiar, and step into a world that isn't bound by time, or responsibility, you can certainly warp things inside your mind. To the mind, it stands in the here and now. Although I knew the time would come to an end, quickly and without mercy, the days before were something to settle nice and comfy into, relishing every minute like there would be no tomorrow.

       There were times, when things felt so perfect, that the annoying voice inside my head would attempt a gentle reminder, reminding me that this was temporary, but all in all, I did a fairly good job of ignoring it. Thats where the warp of mind comes in. Tricking yourself into ignoring the reality, can be a tough maze to remove yourself from. I didn't want to leave my maze. I didn't want it to end, and yet, with the twist of an alarm clock, it did. Hence, sinking to the bottom without my waterproof bulkheads.

       But I'm a perpetual swimmer, usually against the current, but swimming nonetheless. I came up for air and began the ornate mission of extracting myself from the maze I had willingly and tenaciously walked into.

       The last few days of my trip gave me more time to think, then a person should probably have on their hands. Too much thinking has a way of creating desperate conclusions and wishes in one's mind. A person can look at a beautiful mountains, fish, marvel at a gorgeous river only so long before thoughts turn to your life, love, purpose, choices, and consequences. Without daily distractions, thoughts shine a crystal clarity that even frightens a wee explorer like myself. All the would haves, should haves, could haves, still cans, times still on your side theories, should, could and cans come wildly into play.

       I think the trick now, will be holding onto the strength those powerful thoughts have created within me. I know through experience, time can be the hand that diminishes conviction, or strengthens it. From my perspective, I wish to hold onto the later part of that sentence and use it to my advantage.

       The time away was priceless, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. I recommend a sabbatical like the one I have taken to every and anyone. You savor the wonderful, clutch the time, learn from the silence and discover portions of yourself you've learned to ignore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have a zillion alerts to catch up on.
I have many emails to reply too.
I'll be by to visit everyone as soon as I can.
I just checked and it appears Paul Aurora Walking Vacation finally finished his essay while I was gone.

Take a peek at Jodi's Point & Counterpoint 

 for an interesting view on Paul and my own opinions on Spirituality.

Familiar

       Even in seclusion, it's an undeniable fact that life still goes on around you. A twenty minute drive, 10 bucks to a scary little dive of a "Internet exchange" and the trusty laptop is hooked up to another server. I'm sitting outside on a hard picnic table with a power cord draped out the window and another woman sitting next to me plinking away on her laptop.

       And just like that, I'm back in touch with the world. So why am I here? Seclusion has finally sunk into my bones and I needed a touch of familiar. Pretty simple really. The full force of being alone yesterday took an interesting turn on my mindset.

       Until yesterdays shift of the winds, the 6 days before are mine to cherish and savor. I took not a single picture during those six days, committing everything to memory. The best word to describe it is wonderful.  This entire trip is something I've decided to place in it's own special compartment of my life. Something to keep to myself and go back to when the times are right. If spurring my creative soul, or writers intuition, or adding more fuel to the stirrings in my heart was my goal, I've accomplished that.

       I'm staying at a pretty little spot on the Madison River, in Montana. Montana really is a divine contribution of nature. The person who deemed it "Big Sky" country described it to perfection. I'm here for two more days and then I'll be driving head first back into reality. I'm rather conflicted about jump starting myself back into normal routine. I have a distinct feeling, I'm not going to enjoy it. Freedom has a way of changing a few perspectives and allowing your inner self to marvel in the world of no schedule and clocks.

       I suppose the feeling of loss is something I'll have to assume the posture with and start dealing with right now. Cause and effect. The results of one action leads to the consequence on the other side. Ying and Yang right. If you step up on a Mountain of Wonderful, the only place left is down to the bottom. Thankfully, there's always another Mountain to climb the next day. Up and Down we go, so goes the symphony of life.

       And that has satisfied my need for a touch of familiar today.

Alright, my ten bucks worth of time is up :o)

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

       I'm off to see the world, the wonderful world of creativity. I'm packed, I'm ready, I'm heading to destinations unknown. Sure, I have the general idea that I'll be heading northeast, but that could change again by the morning.

       'Tis good to have no plans.

       I'll be joining the land of reality around the 28th of July. On that day I will be rejoicing my adventure and mourning my loss of freedom. I'm sure in the world of technology, I'll find some hotels with the whole wireless connection room upgrade. So I may be by for a quick entry, or maybe not.
      
       I lost control of my weekend, and fear I wasn't able to whip up an entry for the Heartsong Artsy Essay contest. It's a great topic and I highly encourage everyone to type up their own essay. Now, as an owner of two Judith Heartsong pieces that reside in my home, I must say, I highly encourage everyone to enter! How could a person resist such odds and possibilities?  The Topic is "Why I keep a Journal" I have faith everyone knows alittle something about that topic!

Come on, you know you wanna enter.........Judith HeartSong

       I have a journal land request, The Divine Judith, Mirror, Mirror on the Wall needs your prayers and thoughts, just because. Drop by and give her positive thoughts.

       Take care everyone. Adieu, Adios, Austa le vista baby, I'm making my own yellow brick road!

And one final
Rebecca Happy Dance, it's seems appropriate!
      

Short Timers Syndrome

Last date of a saved Entry: July 9th
Attempts at writing another entry: 6, at least
Finished entries: 1 for Point and Counterpoint <hey Paul Aurora Walking Vacation, you done YET?>
Reason for currant brain stall: Short timers syndrome

       Tick Tock, the blank page has been mocking. I believe, and this is the excuse I'm sticking too, is my thoughts are taking this week, as a vacation. You see, my thoughts will be working over time starting the 18th. These thoughts of mine have been put on notice that high levels of expectation and creativity are wholeheartedly expected starting the 18th.

       I'm going on a sabbatical. I'm tossing all pertinent items in my Tahoe starting Monday morning, and taking off. My children are going on a 10 day vacation with their Grandma and I'll be a free woman. So what should a person do when they find themselves with 10 days of no responsibility on their hands. Well, I suppose some would stay home and work. Maybe some would just bask in the glory of having a silent house. For me I see a huge reader board flashing "Adventure is in order."

       Think, Thelma and Louise, except I'll forgo the whole murder aspect. All right, and minus the sidekick. So it's Rebecca and Rebecca. Alone, driving across the states, stopping for random acts of writing, flyfishing and exploring. Destination unknown, time and place irrelevant. I am chomping at the bit tostart my adventure.

       10 days. Exactly how long I will be gone, alone and living up my ownmind and physical adventure. Ya, I'm strange like that.

       With that being said, my mind is tinkering with all sorts of writing topics and leisurely adding words to my novel without a lot of conviction this week. I've turned into a resting mush pile of thoughts. Then again, so is my assistant. The minute I told her she had to hold down my business for 10 days without me, she seemed to have taken a working break. So, I expect both my assistant and my brain to get working as soon as I leave the silhouette of the city in my exhaust fumes.

       All right, I've managed to coax the lazy into putting words on this page.
      
       There is a new journal taking up residence in our little nook. I personally think it's a wonderful idea. I can't count how many times I've run across a glorious entry someone has left in their journal, only to find no one has commented, or I think it needs extra special notice. This new journal will be a place to showcase a special entry you've done. or if you come across an entry that reaches out and grabs you, nominate it for special consideration!

       Please visit Paul at CarnivAOL  .

It's a circus out there, one I'm most content to be a part of!

 

Reasons

Twisting and turning with the letters. Delivering the message and wearing out this blank page. Humble giving to spark the imagination, is a choice puzzle to work.

       I can write about choices, or life, or empowering love. I can dig myself into a hole of reflection, but what I really like, is the power of a thought. I clutch my individuality with a tenacious hold. You need all the information before you can pronounce a conclusion.
      
      I can write about mission or I can pull my black bitch boots on and flaunt my way down the street. Thats the glory of individuality. Reasons to express, what would we be without the opportunity to say something, anything.............

       Wicked world and mercy streets. I've often thought of those words, as the circle of which my truths were based upon and all my illusions are compared. There are few in my world, who know what I've stood beside for, who know why I choose the paths I did. I have to believe in every heart there are pieces to which rational thought and irrational actions go hand in hand.

       I always said I was a simple woman. Simple, meaning, I didn't need for much, I didn't expect things from anyone in my life.  Some have said I was a dreamer. I have to agree.

       I dream of a love that tempts my life with unconventional. When you're an unconventional, you seek the spark that shows you life in new temperatures. What I understand now, is that you can't turn a spark into the fire that continues to blaze in your life, and not get burned.

There were time's I held onto the hands of time with such a force I thought I could stop the lost moments, and ease the loss I felt each time I entered his life and disappeared. He was the force that breathed life into my lungs and he was the ghost kept my thoughts and life full of hope.

His name was ?. When I try describing ? to those who ask my story, I find I lack for specific words that could encompass all that he was. Physically, he was my tall, dark and handsome version of a knight in shining armor. He could wrap his arms around every inch of me. I could cuddle up next to him and feel so tiny, and always safe.  He never held backon showing me the power of a smile, or the gentle grace of a kiss.

I had to know. What person that has found such questions, wouldn't seek the answers? There were enough warning signs. I would be lying if I said there weren't times; years even, I did my best to evict him from my heart and mind. ? wasn't to be removed from the firm grasp he had on my very being.

I think that's what happens when you have wonderful in your life. It's not meant to be forgotten. Perfect and wonderful don't necessarily belong in the same sentence. My wonderful was nothing near perfect, but full of wonder regardless. 

No Medical Attention Needed

 I am back, for another week at least and on the super-dooper-never going to happen-catch up. I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe 4th of July.

        No medical attention was needed on my 5 day getaway, which is always a good thing. To the naked eye, one might think me and my little family require a lot of medical attention, i.e., we are a klutzy misguided group of girls, but in actuality, we just do a lot of things that are adventurous. Or bottom line, they run the risk of bodily harm.

       We have a damn good time doing such things I might add and in my eye's, broken arms <both my girls have broken arms, and I've had 2> stitches <both my girls have had their fair share, including me> broken legs <I'm the only one thats broken a leg> ankles <one kid, and I have enjoyed that little annoyance> and of course broken fingers and wrists <check on both for me, multiple times and one broken finger for the youngest>:o)
  
     As long as no one suffers any permanent damage, I'll always willing to accept the consequences of good old fun. Risk to reward right? Aside from cuts, and bruises, and of course many burns on me from lighting fireworks, it was a great weekend. Ricky Racer Kaitlyn asked for an upturn on her 4 wheeler, she's on rapid speed mode now! Have Mercy....

 Since my little cabin is up in a small tiny little Mountain Community, they do something every year I call........."Good Town Gone BAD" in which they invite all the community and all the stray campers into town for the night to display fireworks. I suppose they figure it would be better to keep the riffraff where they can keep an eye on us all. They start the night off with a parade at 7 o'clock. This year was pretty special because they invited my Mother to play the bagpipes for everyone. I was so proud of her! In my humble opinion, her playing was the highlight of this 10 minute parade :o) 
    

Of course, I may bebiased, but this is the lady who battled breast cancer this year, kicked it's ass under no certain terms and plays the bagpipes. Scotland the Brave <that was on personal request by MANY by-standers although she protested it because it was American day afterall>  and Yankee doodle Dandy played from the pipes never sounded better. Then with much pleading and begging, I talked her into playing Amazing Grace just for me. I get those special favors, tis one wee little bonus part of being her kid. :o)   Now, about that "Good Town, Gone BAD" Since we are located in the Mountains, it is risky too light fireworks off amongst the trees, obviously. So the local community ropes off the one street through town and basically calls out loud and clear "Free for ALL" Bring all your goods, including the illegal fireworks and you may too duck and hit the deck many times over throughout the night. Risk of hair fire and scorched body parts is high, but it's all in good fun. The three, count that 3, local police park their cop cars in the middle of the free for all and stand there just hoping to look official.

       Honestly, it's a Mans dream during this Good Town Gone BAD spectacle. The men drag out their 100 foot in the air fireworks, gleefully lighting the illegal rocket and running for cover. Then the innocent, i.e., kids and Grandma's, must watch the tracers flying through the air and hit the ground when misguided missiles come flying at them from across the street. Hmmmmmm good times I must say!

Ok, this photo journal is coming to an end. But as a Mother, I must add kiddo pics every once in awhile. So here is my girls, having a great weekend.........................

Striking their Most glamorous poses. Um, did I mention Shelby is 13 lately? Have mercy.....LOL and thats a stowaway friend behind her.....somehow, she managed to sneak in my Tahoe as we were heading out of town :o)