It's done, I have two feet officially in the teenage daughter zone. That's right, the big 13 today. 13, isn't that supposed to be an unlucky number? To those superstitious folks, isn't there some sort of voodoo associated with the number 13? Aren't most high story buildings devoid of the 13th floor?
As I embark on this new stage of female daughter evolution I sit back and take a deep breath. You could say I reserve a lot of fears, deep down in the back parts of my mind, because of my own teenage follies.
If I look back over my teens, still to this day they seem so very fresh in my mind. I know not everyone makes such bad choices in their teens, but I did. I was the perfect student, perfect athlete, probably as perfect daughter as you could want up until about 15ish. Then for reasons unknown <ok I know, but I don't feel like sharing> I snapped into this well, picture a nightmare of a teenage daughter and that was me.
I won't go into sordid details, all those skeletons have been locked up nice and tight. I told them along time ago that the little black box they reside in will be a lonely world. They aren't invited to come out rarely, if ever. The good part in all that was, I did emerge on the other side of those years alive, healthy and ready to make a life for myself.
From the night my first daughter Shelby was born 13 years ago, I've always held this fear in my heart of the teenage years. I've been plotting for years on how to avoid some of the pitfalls and traps that can be found. I only hope since I took those years to such extremes I will be able to help guide her around some of the paths that can be tempting, but mercilessly cruel.
We had a wonderful day, I watched her flounce around in some new clothes, and although we turned 13, she choose to do the same thing she has for year as her birthday gathering. We have a big family and everyone was there to celebrate. She scored a bounty.
When we got home this evening, I did as I have every year since she was tiny, I told her the entire story of the beautiful Tuesday she was born on. March 3, 1992.
Here's a math equation for you. 4 Kids, one stuffed animal claw machine. How many quarters did it take to win all those stuffed animals tonight? In case it's not showing clearly 14 stuffed animals! They were on a roll tonight!
28 comments:
Happy Birthday to a beautiful young lady! An end of one era lends the beginning of another. I do not envy you right now, while I am happy for you and your daughter at the same time. I struggle each day with watching my babies grow into young ladies. And they are still eons away from 13! At least to them. LOL Enjoy this special time. It will fly past you into yesteryears and pixie dust.
CarrieCMc
http://journals.aol.com/ccmcwriter/TheWayICameToBeMe
A late Happy Birthday to Shelby and welcome to the adventure of a lifetime to you. You know the teenage years are rough, but they're so exciting as well.
Happy Birthday to the Birthday Girl. The rapid begining of adulthood. Sanity is just around the corner, well a few corners, but out there none the less. I'm sure you and your daughters will do the "teenage" years just fine. A sense of humor helps a lot. Paulette
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! TO you and your daughter...I find my children's birthdays to be more profound every year. Every milestone, more nostalgic. AND the more I want to make their lives "more" better. I love being able to step back and really look at them on these days and review the past year of life with them. Trying to burn it in my brain for the years to come...SO that I may never forget. God bless you and yours!!!
Jodi
Happy Birthday to you both! My younger daughter will be 13 in October, and the older one is turning 16 in May. So far, so good....but every day is a new adventure in teendom with them.
We'll get through this somehow....I hope!
Carol
Happy Birthday. What a lovely picture of you both!
Judith
Happy birthday to Shelby, and it seems like you must be doing a pretty great job with her. That`s a great picture of you 2, and my goodness but you guys look alot alike! Two pretty ladies, and as far as the math equation, with my own personal experience with claw machines.....................I`d say about 100 bucks!
Happy, Happy Birthday to Shelby! Rebecca, moments become memories all too quickly, keep enjoying every single one!
Sue
Happy 13 Shelby...my daughter was a pain at 13...but it was very short lived...one thing I had to learn was that my children are nothing like I was...because I am a very different parent than mine. sounds like you are doing fine...and boy she sure does look like you!!! Enjoy! rose
I was a very troubled teen, but I loved every minute of those years with my kids.... lots of blessings, it will be ok. You are a wonderful mom. judi
Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter. I am right behind you with my oldest turning 13 this year. I have to say, I am looking forward to the years ahead, not so much because I want them to grow up fast, and leave, but I am so darn curious how they are going to turn out, and what path they will choose for themselves. AS always, I'll be there to guide them, but still some choices will be theirs only.....so its even alittle scary.......love the picture, your daughter is the spitting image of you.....both of you are ansolutely gorgeous.
Kim
Cry your tears, smile and reminisce. Commit to memory this moment, in just a short while you'll wonder where the time went and how you can turn it back (like when she starts driving, dating,etc.). I'm dreading the day, 4 years from now when I, too, have a 13 year old...boy. Good luck, I hear it's something we'll all need when we go through this! LOL
Tammy
Happy Birthday to your daughter! What a great pic of the two of you!
http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you both!! What a lovely picture. Enjoy her, Rebecca. Say what you need to say to her. She may not seem like she's listening to you, but she hears you. And enjoy the fights along the way - they are supposed to occur and it shows she is growing in independence - something to celebrate. Mind you, I am still glad I had boys :)
Vicky
http://www.livejournal.com/users/vxv789/
Don't the years just FLY by? Soon she'll be wanting a car, then it's off to college. But it is a pleasure throughout, and a fleeting one. Congratulations on doing so well with your daughter! Like mother, like daughter, even if she doesn't believe it now, some day she'll stop herself mid-sentence and think, "I turning into my mother!" It happens to all of us, eventually. Bruce
What a beautiful photo of the two of you! Fear is good. Fear of our daughters turning teenagers. This fear will keep you on your toes, aware of what your 13 year old is doing, who her friends are. To be involved with her life is best you can do. You've layed the ground rules to life to her all these preceding years, teaching right from wrong, good from bad. It's time to let her take what she's learned from you and grow into the beautiful young adult she is becoming. I love watching my kids grow, seeing the paths they choose. Happy Birthday to her!
13 is a strange age between a child and a women! Its rough I remember when I was 13 I was a good kid though my mother stayed close enough to pull me back to a child many times but In a way it was very sneaky! Dont invaid her space too much! But be on top of it..lol
My mother did a great job.It gives me hope for mine.But I was the 6th child and she know what she was doing by then..lol.She did her best and you will to as I will also we will make mistakes Im sure but we will learn by them and grow by them also!Good luck
welcome to the club!!!
I have two teens myself......18 and 13. My 13 y/o's birthday was February 26.
It has its challenges, it has its reards as you see all that you have done right as they become almost adults. I can honestly say though it is as exhausting a having a toddler....I have one of those here too! In about 18 months we will have THREE teenagers in da house!
Laura
http://journals.aol.com/nicurnmama/adventuresinjuggling/
http://journals.aol.com/nicurnmama/adventuresinjuggling/entries/442
hey! Okay.. since im a teenager myself.. i can tell also tell u that its very! scary... and that sometimes, no matter how great our parents are... we make mistakes.. but just be easy yet though on us.. easy meaning...try and understand.. be willing to trust... and tough meaning.. dont let us always get our way.. we may scream.. we may kick.. we may even call you names.. but its for the best.. and deep inside, most of us really do want you to say no.. it shows you care.. lol odd..
anyways, you seem like your going to be a great mother to a teeanger.. so good luck!
~jackie~
http://journals.aol.com/jackiebenice/blah/
!3 Humm... I was kind of wanting to a be happy it hit the teen word lol... thinking it was just to be a Teenager for me was an inspiring moment but, just knowing that I was still a little girl yet to grow was the toughest to understand... and having to let you parents tell you @ what time to come inside Hummm... dont we all hate that, but it is for good... if you are just wondering who am I =, you stop by my journal about A WEEK AGO and I miss on your post sorry; late but here I love to read your journal its more like a book.... Take care... Mari..
Birthdays are very special! In my house growing up, we celebrated Birthday Week... because my dad was always away, and mom said "How can I celebrate your life in just one day? " So we extended birthdays from then on.
You sound like a great mom!
Take Care ~~~The Dancing Wolf
http://journals.aol.com/shewolfdancing/LifeofAWolf
Great picture of you both!! I fear the teens myself, I remember ME at that age, however God gave me boys-PHEW!!! I hope it will be smooth sailing-as smooth as teen years can go. LOL
Just remember, your kids are not you! I have 3 teens myself, 15, 17 and 19. My parents were blind to my wild side. I got away with murder because they didn't think I could ever do anything bad........uh,WRONG! They are shocked now (I'm 41) when I tell them the crap I used to do. But, now that I'm the mom, I make sure that I am very open with my kids about everything from, drugs, to sex, to parties etc...If you talk a lot about all of these things, then they will feel free to come to you. My 17 y/o says "if you hold on too tight, she'll sneak around behind your back, but if you give her too much freedom, she'll definitely abuse it. Find the happy medium and don't be afraid to let go just a little." Make sure she knows that trust is a very hard thing to win back! Good luck! Barbara
Yeesh, I could've written para 2,3,4 of this one. What is it about fifteen for us? I have a little black box, hidden deep intoa corner too. No need to even bring it up anymore really for me, alas, my daughter will one day be fifteen. . . Cya, Kris
congratulations as i imagine you have crossed into the great beyond- another phase of motherhood. <at least with mine only 1 and 8, teenage years petrify me>
Wonderful photo!
Peace, Virginia
oh I am not looking forward to those teen years with my too girls. I too lost myself at about 15. Lets pray our girls will always communicate with us. That is key!! Great pics! you look like a fun family.
hey! im 15 right now & dont worry, we r not all unholy terrors! lol i have a super relationship w my mom & shes like my best friend. as long as u communicate w ur daughters on the level of "friends" rather than "hello lowly children" i think thigns will b fine.
*nicholie*
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