Change

Main Entry: [2]change
Function: noun
Date: 13th century
1 : the act, process, or result of changing: as a : ALTERATION change in the weather> b : TRANSFORMATION change> changes> c : SUBSTITUTION change of scenery


       Once upon a time, there was a fairy princess who lived a life of thought. Her days were spent serving others while her mind was filled with notions, idea's of life and grandeur. She often thought of how long she would have to sing that single song to the same people over and over. She longed to take flight herself, move among the tree's, over the Mountains and across the rivers.

       The fairy princess fought often enough, the constraints that bound her to such turmoil. She had heard of the other princesses locked away in towers guarded by dragons, other princesses sleeping away their days till their prince kissed them into fantasy land. Hell, all one princess had to do was drop a shoe and she was rescued.

        But no, this princess knew she would have to slay her own dragons, there was no room for sleeping away her days, and she certainly wasn't willing to give up one of her signature black boots. No, this princess had to find the guts to take a stand, both boots firmly on her feet, face her demons head on and conjure her own potion of courage. It may have taken her longer then she would have liked, but she turned thought into action. She realized all those other princesses simply sat on their ass waiting for their prince charming to rescue them, and this princess decided she wouldn't put such expectations out there on a billboard.

       That was a solution, she could have waited till her tower was covered in cobwebs and her days of sleeping would have needed more then just a kiss to wake her up. No, this princess decided enough rainy days had fallen, enough wishes gone to fairy dust and life was whisking by her at a rapid pace below the clouds. She wiped her tears away and faced life, she clicked her black stiletto heals together and made her three wishes known.

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      I have a quote I've read often enough, it's burned into my mind. "If you risk nothing at all, you risk everything." Anonymous

        Change. To change. I've made a change. It's a one life, one chance kind of change that I've put 5 years into and haven't been able to let go of. I've let go. There is never a good time for such things. But when you find your mind constantly thinking, "when the time is right." Or my catalyst I've fallen back on frequently "This isn't a good time for this person." There is never a good time to make a big change for ME.

        Time is that word that's really begun to haunt me. I've used such things as time as a crutch for so long. When the time is right, when the moment is perfect, when the mood is even, when, when, when. You can when things to death if you let it become an excuse to avoid change. You can guilt yourself into staying in something you know is all wrong, when you place everything that is you to the wayside.

        That is what has become of me. The wayside. I know this may seem irrational. But here's food for thought. As those of you whom visit my little corner of the Internet, you may have noticed I enjoy writing, I write a lot, I have a lot to type from my fingertips as my extension of mind, but until this last fall, I hadn't wrote for years. I had lost the ability to write. It was in essence, taken away from me. I won't entirely blame this one person, but all that was creative, all that was the dreamer in me, the creative side, was brushed away to make room for another's thoughts, life, needs. Done.......

        I realize, excuses and reasons aren't necessary, it's just a glimpse. Change needs to be my focus right now and that is what is in place. I can't imagine losing again the things thatmade Rebecca, who she once was. Change is focus, a new chapter to be written. A new book really. It's been such a long road, but I've taken that step onto the new path.

      LOL what a week to be a featured journal. Damn, talk about more bad timing :o) Time must be of female accent, only time/female could be so temperamental, and do things atthe most inopportune moments.

      But change, although hard, nothing like feeling boot kicked in the gut for days on end, can also signify wonderful things happening. The sky although still a bit dark and dreary, seems to be opening up, letting some light in. Change is bringing the sun back out into my life, my shadow not as prominent. I'm looking at the sun now, happy to see it's warmth, light and all the possibilities ahead of me.

       Change is good. Was a motto someone made up as some sort of joke. It should read more like, change will scare the death out of you, it will challenge you to face what you fear the most, but change can happen if you take the step past the line of time and excuses.

It's another wonderful day............