Main Entry: dra·ma
Pronunciation: 'drä-m&, 'dra-
Function: noun
1 : a composition in verse or prose intended to portray life or character or to tell a story usually involving conflicts and emotions through action and dialogue and typically designed for theatrical performance
2 : dramatic art, literature, or affairs
3 a : a state, situation, or series of events involving interesting or intense conflict of forces b: dramatic state, effect, or quality <the drama of the courtroom proceedings>
The dynamics of a drama. I.E. Drama queen, dramatic take on life, daytime drama soaps, nighttime drama soaps, real drama, imagined drama, unexpected drama, unwanted drama, you name it, we all experience it on some cosmic level.
Heightened emotions, deflated pride, a sparkling spectrum of range can be found in drama. Now, I myself have never taken a liking to drama of sorts. I always thought I was one to shy away from such spectacle of public display. If I was struggling, I simply kept my mouth shut, a smile plastered on my stoic face and trudged through like Jeff Gordon did yesterday in the final laps of the 500.
So now I find myself looking back over recent time wondering if I have indeed experienced the level of drama without simply acknowledging it. If you don't tell others about your struggles, don't verbalize your issues, does it bring it away from the level of 'drama' and simply become just life?
Now drama, is the enigma I've been muddling around here in my mind. Is drama a force created by oneself? Or is it the feeling that is a result of bad choices, mistakes, you made your bed now sleep in it kind of analogy? Drama, is it just the side opinion others may label your problems as?
Which raises another question I have. How often do you hear the term drama king? Are men oblivious to this label? Or do they simply recognize their life problems in a different light then us woman folk? Are men exempt from the feelings and emotions that align themselves with the term drama? Is there some sort of divine secret the men out there have between having issues, yet not portraying things in a dramatic twist?
When I am meandering through the wonderful journals out there, I read about the trials and tribulations of so many woman. A lot of us share common struggles, similar problems, issues that don't seem to go away. The few and far between male journals I come across very seldomly dive into issues like problems, fears, dreams, struggles, and so on. Does this mean all you men just compartmentalize the same things we woman struggle with, or are you lives simply simple? This really perplexes me, are you all just immune? If so, where's the vaccination!
Or is just the simple difference between men and woman, Mars and Venus?
We all have the friend who calls incessantly with their drama right? I know I do. I smile and listen, lend advice when asked and usually hang up the phone depleted of energy just listening to all that goes on in my friends life. I used to think 'wow, I'd be wiped out if I was trying to juggle all that emotion all the time.' Yet, these days I feel I'm trying to paddle my own boat without proper oars! Welcome to the world of Drama, step right up folks, it's a wild ride :o) But I ask again, if you keep silent of your troubles, does this remove the self implied label of drama? Then is it just wallowing in a self pity party?
I am a gatherer of information. I ask questions because I must. It's as simple as that. I want to know the answers to the unknown in my mind. I see lots of question marks in this entry of mine. Always the journey, not the destination right Bruce?
I know the simple act of opening your voice, or even in this case, writing in public forum, you open yourself up to all sorts of opinion, judgment, and possible labels. For the first time in my life, I can actually say I'm open to that raw prospect. I used to hide within myself. Silent intrigue was my guidinginfluence.
Of course here, the shield of anonymous insight is a perfect scenario for a closet thinker. So I've found a balance and the benefit is, I also open myself up to new and provoking idea's, opinions, thoughts and answers.
20 comments:
I've met men before who are drama queens, if you can believe that. Many woman create their own drama possibly out of lack of self-confidence. I have a few acquaintances who are drama queens and yes, they do deplete you. I believe drama is a force created by oneself.
I think to some extent everyone has some drama in their life. The difference being that Drama Queens like the drama. They revel in the turmoil. Are men and women like Mars and Venus? If you ask me, that's a resounding Yes, in almost everything.
" So I've found a balance and the benefit is, I also open myself up to new and provoking idea's, opinions, thoughts and answers. "
Opening up is hard. plain and simple. I still struggle with it.
I feel guys are the greatest of escape artists. A combination of enviroment and genetics play into this role. As well as Drama Queens. Our roles are designed by the time we are teenagers, if not before. great topic!
Great entry. full of questions, insights, thoughts, and feelings. :D
The urban dictionary has two pages of definitions of 'drama' here:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=drama&r=f
Some of them are quite funny. Although Drama (with a lower case 'd' the definitions you provided are correct, but I think you are really talking about the Capital 'D' Drama, aren't you?) is not exclusively a female thing, it is predominantly a female thing. If one of my buddies came up to me in a bar and said, "guess what Johnny said about you," I'd roll my eyes and inform him it was his round. But that wouldn't happen, because if Johnny had something to say ABOUT me, he'd say it TO me. That's the way men are. We don't shy away from telling each other hard truths that need to be told. That's why guys always do so poorly with the, "does this dress make me look fat?" question. I mean, if you didn't want a truthful answer, why did you ask the question? Because, let's be honest, you already knew the answer before you asked, right? That's called Drama.
-Paul
I live a chaotic, busy life, and I'm open about the problems I'm facing. I think that emotional honesty is a good thing. When that becomes perverted into a "look at me and join my pity party", one becomes a drama queen. To me the key difference between emotional honesty and false dramatics is how much pleasure one receives in having the problems. I have a drama queen friend who constantly moans about the chaos in her life, but I see her recreating the same situations she complains about over and over, and basically for the same reason -- she loves the fun around the conditions that cause the chaos. Her rep is "what will happen to her next," and she feeds on it. On the other hand, I may lack the objectivity to look at myself and put the drama queen crown on my own head.
very interesting questions you pose :)
the drama queens that i'm familiar with have one very irritating trait .. they turn every incident around to be about them .. the 'ol "how could this person do this to ME", "i can't believe this is happening to ME" .. where most people just view certain incidents as a natural occurance in life that has absolutely no direct bearing on their lives, the drama queen eventually turns everything around, even those incidents not remotely related to them to be about them .. a side effect of being self centered perhaps?
i'm not sure of the answers .. avoidance of these draining people is my style :)
pamela
Oh Rebecca, I came by to check in on one of my favorite journalers and I feel a sense of weariness for you. I am sharing some quotes and a couple of thoughts, perhaps to help lighten the recent events you have written about here. Here are some quotes that may inspire:
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. -- Anais Nin
We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement. -- Viktor E. Frankl...Man's Search For Meaning
A youth was questioning a lonely old man, "What is life's heaviest burden"?
The old man answered sadly, "To have nothing to carry". -- Anonymous
To which I say, of this last quote by Anonymous, people often mistake drama for purpose, and replace drama for purpose.
When I look back at the times I got tangled up in my own drama, I realize how powerless it made me and the sense of hopelessness the whole situation felt to me.
As for the friend who calls incessantly with their drama, I think it is important to honor yourself and not allow someone to become an emotional and spiritual vampire. Some people are very draining and it sometimes feels like they are recharging their life force by draining off some of yours. When you see it that way, you realize how important it is to hang onto the vitality of your life energy and to make informed decisions on who you may wish to share the power of your life energy with, if anyone at all, or at least the highjacking vampires in life. They are not fun or funny people.
You are a very insightful and thinking woman, and I feel you will gather wisdom from all that you experience and contemplate. Dalene of AHH at journals.aol.com/ahhliving/AHH
Interesting questions. While I probably wouldn't have used your words or style in presenting those words (both very unique and thought provoking by the way) I, too would like to know the answers; especially to the difference in drama from men to women. If ever you reach the 'goal' of this entry, please share with the rest of us, so we can lay these things to rest in our minds too! Thanks.
Tammy
I think we all have a sense of drama and life is the stage. Some of us are poor actors/actresses, some are overreactors, and some know when to put the drama into high gear and when to stay out of centerstage. Men are mostly black and white and women are in full color, so naturally we would bare this brand more frequently than our counterparts. There are plenty of men that are in fact drama queens..... we usually call them gay.(NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE)My point here being we stereotype men as well.
http://journals.aol.com/meangirl61073/petalsandmud
Some people use drama as a weapon, starting fights in public, to embarass and control. Sometimes they use our desire for a pleasant and comfortablelife as a means to compromise us and coerce our compliance with their schemes and manipulations. There is no winning with these types, there is only lost ground until at some point we leave dry land and find ourselves surrounded by deep water. The answer is to toughen ourselves; the drawback to that is that it makes us more like them and less like ourselves, the way we were. To strike a happy balance, we must learn when and where to give, something like the eastern philosophies where the bamboo does not stand against the wind, but gives enough that the wind does not uproot it, but the bamboo continues to grow, and returns to its original profile once the wind is exhausted, until the next time...and there will be next times, always. There will be another user, manipulator, Pig (from my earlier comment), NOT because we attract them, but because people find it EASY to be that way, because of laziness, ignorance, ineptitude or mean-spiritedness. These "people" are always on the lookout for another sucker and if they find it in us, they think immediately of what they can get, what they can get away with.
Life is a journey, yes; a trek it should not be. That there are those who would do their best to make it so should not deter us. The journey is the point, after all, not the destination. Getting there should be ALL the fun, and fie unto those who would steal our fun or destroy the dreams we hold dear. Misery loves company and these types are desperate for company....so deny them yours! You can, if you choose, and you will, because you are strong and they are not...if they were, they would not need to sap your strength. Take heart, there are others who have trod this path, and you will find friends among them along the way. Bruce
WHAT IS DRAMA? A VERY GOOD QUESTION. WELL DRAMA TO ME IS VERY STRONG EMOTIONS. A DESIRE, A PASSION RELEASED. A FACE EXPRESSION STORY.
Thought provoking and nicely written entry, Rebecca.
When dealing with those of the Dramatic persuasion, I find expressionless silence while looking deeply into their eyes an effective tool! It’s called taking the high road and not being sucked into their chaos by enabling them. After all, fuel for their fire is in short supply which is why they are continually foraging. Stay strong. Silence is golden!
Now, I, personally, believe there is a difference between being a Drama Queen/Drama King (ya know, those who suck the living life out of ya, i.e., Xs, BP, Pigs, and sometimes family and friends) and being emotional (hormonal, bad day, etc.). Although at times the lines can blur and the tones become gray, for the most part DQ/DK is a lifestyle; emotional is passionately individual. Our emotions are what make us unique, and this is something to celebrate. Sure, I wish I was less emotional at times, and I’m always hoping the next month will be better.
Let’s celebrate our individuality and stay away from the DQs.
Judith
Hmmmm... Drama... I long ago made a decision to disengage myself from relationships that are dramatic because they proved to be unhealthy for me. I avoided the drama to minimize the trauma. It's different for everybody. Some love it and thrive around it.
Hmm, very thoughtful piece. Drama... drama is life lessons only learned upon reflection. Drama is life happening when you least expect it.
As for men and the whole "drama queen" versus king thing, I think (and there certainly are exceptions to every rule) that men tend to let it go far easier than women do. Women will stress over an issue and turn it into a huge thing. Whereas men will be angry for a few minutes and then get over it. I don't know why. It could be the difference in the way that men and women are raised. If a boy falls down, he's told not to cry. That it's okay. If a girl falls down, she's told it's okay to cry and to let it out. So boys tend to not hold onto emotions as tightly as girls. Or I could be totally off-track. I don't know. But I've often wondered this myself. I tend to hold a grudge for ages and can't for the life of me figure out how my husband can just let it go so easily.
Great entry!
Ari
Honestly, what I feel about Drama is this: You make a mistake, an over sight, but then do nothing to rectify it, instead you keep it going, you learn nothing from it.
Then you wonder whythe same stupid things keep happening to you.
Do I consider my problems drama?? Things that I could have prevented??? Maybe some, but I think some of my other problems are just part of life.
Drama for me is having a leasurely weekend, and then witching that I have a crap load of homework, all of my own fault, all preventable. I didn't do anything to prevent it, I put it off, and then I turn around and cry about it in my journal...what for??? A pat on the back??? LOLOLOLOL...That is drama!!!! =-P
Maybe if women were more like men, and thought about sex every...what is it every two minutes?.....just maybe we could have alil less drama? After all we'd be thinking less about our own drama, or creating more drama. I think its a feesible theory.LOLOL Seriously, thanks for an insightful entry!!!
Kim=-)
Drama, drama, drama. . . Such a part of life that everyone loves to hate! It entertains us, yet irritates us all at once. I can understand you feeling exacerbated by your friend. Think of your children being dramatic, and all you want to do is slap them out of it, yet we go to movies, watch tv, hit brooadway or off-broadway productions to tell stories at high drama. The less drama there is, the more bitter we are for spending our money on it. We don't want it in our lives, yet, we love to encounter it. I guess this is just me talking here about me, but I as you, getting really exhausted by it. Give me reality! That is the best drama of all. As for men, that is a whole 'nother entry! hehehe Best to ya. Cya, Kris
Do you ever feel like people don't understand you? I think we have all felt like that at some point but what if the reality was that no one really understands anyone at -any- time. I think a lot of our problems are spawned from a total lack of knowledge, our drama is provoked by a series of misunderstandings--either about ourselves, the situation, or the people involved.
Sometimes, I think, we purposely misunderstand things so that we have a little drama in our lives--a way to focus our attention on something other then the painful humdrum of our own existences...of which we have such a hard time creating meaning for.
We create our own drama, either by choice or by feeling, it is still we who bring it to life. And about the issue of silence on your own problems---I did that for most of my life. I am a very, very quiet person who, like you, was often found listening to others problems and dramas. The truth is even if you keep it inside, drama still exists...it just thrives within you, a heavy burden that weighs you down if you don't open yourself up.
http://journals.aol.com/whooaanelle/DreamerInTransition/
-Nell
I love reading your journal! Your entries make me think. This particular topic, DRAMA, seems to be very timely. My life has been very life-active in the past few months... and I even feared I'd become a "drama queen" without realizing it. Needless to say, I don't say much about personal life's happenings, publicly in my J. I don't want to be a drama queen and I would like all this stuff that keeps happening around and to me, to go away! LOL
What a great question! Why don't we ever say "Drama Kings?" Are men really that calm, cool, and collected? Or is it that they are just terriby repressed? :-)
Sorry you've been going through a rough time lately. I'm sure that default by your X was a definite blow. And so unfair, too! I know you'll persevere and come out ahead in the end though. Please hang in there! And keep contemplating and pondering too! Your insights are wonderful and so thought-provoking! :-)
A many, too many, number of years ago, I read a book about the gender differences in communication styles between men and women, bottom line: Women tend to communicate with an effort to "connect" to one another, whereas, Men tend to communicate with others in an effort to "one-up" others (somewhat like a social hierarchy form)... so in other words, why would men want to talk about topics that they feel would bring them down the social ladder of acceptance = they wouldn't, and typically don't. Instead they tell stories or jokes that "casts" themselves in a positive light .... Women on the otherhand, could care less if they felt less than, they just want empathy, understanding, and thus, "connection". Well, anyways, this is what the communication's expert Author said, and I tend to agree.
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